Pencil

Hello lonely pencil

there on the ground

I'm so glad

you're what I found

Imagine all the things

that we can do

I have so many

plans for you

The things that I felt

the things that I saw

will turn into words

and picture's I'll draw

Oh lonely pencil

left there to rot

If you'll come to a point

I'll feed you my thought

And until your graphite

should come to end

You'll have my hand

and mind as a friend

Reviews

[FIN]

Thoroughly heartfelt, Mr. Lopez.

Each line, stanza, rhyme and message was touching.

What wonders a simple pencil can have (and bring) upon oneself who is willing to explore its possibilities.

Highly enjoyed this sentimental piece.

Here's to the pencil.

Critique wise: I would edit the second stanza; third and fourth lines, to adjust to the rhythm of the poem and keep it coherent. The way it is composed here feels abrupt: the choppiness going from one line to the next is not fluid like all of the other lines..

Ex: Adjustment
"I have so many plans
for me and for you"

Adheres itself to the fluidity of the rest of the lines of the piece.

Reasoning being: each line of your poem ends as a complete phrase (in other words: is "end stopped"). Those two lines are not, eradicating the smoothness of the piece, at those points.

Much love,

LR

[Brittany Zedalis]

We as writers must be thankful for our methods of getting the thoughts out of our heads. I really enjoyed this.

~Luna

[Mr. Lopez]

Hey, thanks for stopping by and recognizing my observation of beauty in the simplicity's of life.

[E.G. James]

I found this genuinely enjoy able read. I love how you took something so simple and created something so thought provoking.

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked this poem. Some days hard to combine pencil and paper as one.
"And until your graphite
should come to end
You'll have my hand
and mind as a friend"
I did like the above lines. Thank you dear friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[CourtniRenee]

Oh my goodness I love this. A very sweet ode. I think we forget the magic of holding on to a pencil and watching our thoughts come to life.
You're rhyming is fabulous, you use strong meter and fun word choices.
Thanks for sharing!

[Mr. Lopez]

Hey, thanks for your review. I'm glad you enjoyed my silly little poem. I haven't been very active on this sight lately but that's not to say that I can't find poetry in even the little things in life....even in a discarded pencil. Thanks again.

[Tony Jordan]

Some people, like pencils, are easily lead.
This is so simple.
Bop!
Well done

[Lorry]

Excellent. I love how such a simple thing as finding a pencil turned into an adventure, as well as a wonderful read. Sometimes it is the simplest of things that we don't always see or give much thought to that can inspire us and take a path in our mind we never knew existed. Love it.

[Mr. Lopez]

Hey thanks Nemo. You're exactly right. I wrote this with the very pencil I found.

[Shy Joe]

Wonderful! The sanctuary of happiness can be found in the perils of others. That is if we take the right path to make a connection, and in turn, connect the happiness to one another.

Great write. Thanks for sharing.

[Mr. Lopez]

One man's loss is another's gain. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

[Footprints al carbon]

This is very good! Sometimes all a poet needs is to find a pencil.

[Mr. Lopez]

Thank you for recognizing and enjoying the beauty of simplicity alongside me.