Emotional Suicide

I wrote this for the "cry me a river" contest years ago. Don't even remember how I did.

While the everlasting sleep slips into my bed
These images slowly find their way into my head
For the very last time where in my dreams I can hide
Welcome to my beautiful suicide

Here's to the death of all dreams from days gone past
To all things that will wilt and were never meant to last
When I water them raw with acid rain
They will burn a hole that starts in my brain

And slowly works its way into my heart
To burn what little is left of what's now torn apart
There in cold and empty chamber number two
Is where I kept the hopes and dreams I had for you

Echoes of your name bounce into chamber number one
Where joyous laughter used to live but now is gone
You were once my saving grace and my life raft
But today I found your smile in a photograph

Still protecting you I shielded you
From the rain of tears
By holding you at arms length
As you did to me for years

Never letting me in for fear that it might be real
Afraid,I suppose,that from your heart I might steal
Never again will I allow my love to be shared
I will destroy all signs that say to all I ever dared

In empty fields of wind and ice
That's where my heart now will reside
Welcome to you all
To my emotional suicide

Reviews

[Diamond]

Extra ordinary. Upon reading your description, I was wondering how by writing only for contest, you could evoke this much emotion. No, I understand that this words bled from your heart's wound. Everyone sure has undergone this pain, to different depths. Some say, hold on for dear life...but I think "let go" for "dear life".

[Mr. Lopez]

The contest inspired me to uncork the bottle and let out the poisonous pain it contained inside. You are very much so accurate in your statements. First, the poem appears as it was written. It's never been edited. These emotions are/were real and come from a very deep and dark place. And secondly, my life has only improved without her in it. Thanks for the kind words and review.

[Lorry]

Love the echoes of their name bouncing in echo t the chamber she used to fill, beautifully captured.

[zaisham9393]

Ending your life without killing yourself !
Is it depression, feeling emotionally numb....either way this might be relatable to many...
Thanks for sharing :)!

[Thegingerninja]

Sometimes when I read your writing I feel like I'm you I relate to it in a very strong way good job as always

[Mr. Lopez]

Thank you so much my friend. I share these intimate experiences and emotions for several reasons. One being that maybe, just maybe, there is someone out there that needs to hear these words that live in their own hearts be said by someone else. If nothing else to verify that they,you,are not alone. I understand how deep the well of loneliness can be. You might not believe it gingerninja but I'm rooting for you. Thank you for reading.

[Tabby Mac]

What an amazing write. I like it for many reasons. One is that sometimes in life and it could be anything maybe even a never come true dream we have to die to our wants, and needs, desire, or dreams.
Although I don't believe the poem portrays but my personal experience will express it that sometimes it takes us dieng to something for a rebirth to begin.
Well done.
Tabby

[Mr. Lopez]

Yeah , you know how it is. In the moment , at the time when the wounds are still fresh, this is how a person might feel. Like giving up on love is the only solution to protecting what's left of your depleted reserves of love. It's a desperate attempt to preserve that. But the reality is that these things do pass. I am living proof of that. My heart isn't closed to the idea of love, just a little battered up I guess. That too will heal. I'm especially proud of this write because it was written in just a few minutes and is in its original form, no editing. I read and re read it thinking "man, how come I can't write like this all the time?" But more importantly, I'm super jazzed that you liked it too. Thanks again for reading.

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing poetry Mr. Lopez.
"In empty fields of wind and ice
That's where my heart now will reside
Welcome to you all
To my emotional suicide "
The above lines. Where many of us will know and find. Emotional suicide. Is dead-end or new beginning. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Mr. Lopez]

It's funny how at the time, in the moment , a person can feel this way...having given up on love altogether. But as we know , these seasons pass and as you've said , these feelings are but stepping stones to a new beginning. Thank you for your kind words and review.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are right my friend. Must reach bottom to see the top. You are welcome my friend.