Tears of the unknown

As I stood there, leaning on a pole,
I felt the chill weather touching my skin,
I heard whispers of the ice queen ,
and saw the fountain play over and over.

I couldn't resist but to check on my hands,
they were cold and shivering,
and suddenly, the ice that covered my head,
changed to water.

I have yet to see anything ,
and tears of the unknown covered my chick.

Reviews

[durrya]

tears of the unknown!

How beautifully you expressed what your feeling!
i like.

[The Mysterious Daff]

I loved it, you managed to pass the feeling quite well. But I didn't understand the last line in the first stanza, If you could explain it to me I'll be glad :)

[MrKnowAll]

the fountain symbolizes the routine , and routine is something that goes on and on the same way.
read morethe fountain symbolizes the routine , and routine is something that goes on and on the same way.
Thanks for your comment!

[Trigorin]

Nice piece, seems somewhat allegorical in a way, but the ending is rather confusing and seems a little lame, considering the buildup you've treated the reader to in the beginning half of the poem. Maybe revise? Either way you've got a very mystical, dream-like quality in this piece that's difficult to pull off. Well done.

[MrKnowAll]

I appreciate your comment very much!
And it is allegorical.

Regarding the ending, I think the ending requires a more extensive overview of the poem.
It requires the reader to know the allegory, and without it , it makes it quite harder to understand what the narrator has yet to see, and what the tears mean.

If you want my explanation of the poem, I would be glad to share it with you via PM! There you could also give me advice on how to improve and revise it. :)

[Janice Fronek(red.panda..]

this is so beautiful I like it a lot Great work :) keep it up

[MrKnowAll]

Thank you!!!! :) I think it's beautiful as well. I have really gotten into the "zone" as they say it.

[Janice Fronek(red.panda)]

ya you did and it's so good :D