Soldiers & Glory

I remember them flying,
coming back in coffins,
they were strange in their looks.

Sounds of glory, vigor , and what-not,
shamed by them,
coffins is what I see.

I remember how they flew up in the sky,
in that bright morning,
like the sunshine , they shined,
and all noticed.

Seeing them there,
in dark places,
thinking, for what ?

Reviews

[.]

i know you have a penchant for war history, and so i take this poem to be of similar subject. (it could just as easily apply to dreams, aspirations and the like, I s'pose)
i like this piece. and how it asks that great simple question at the end: "for what?"...

on a small note: have you considered working on the structure, at all? - particularly around line nine...

in short,.. a poignant enquiry and important reminisce.
well done.

[MrKnowAll]

Thank you very much for reviewing. This is indeed a poem of war, and asks the simplest question: for what?
What do you mean by working the structure? Is there a better way to present line 9 ? Maybe move it up to the center, making metaphorically like the sun ?

[Kandy]

Nice poem. Truly, what do we fight for? War only brings death.
I like the contrast you provide. The 'glory' of the soldiers as they fly away, and then their dark and sad return. It's hard not to notice that there is no glory in war, just death. Good job.

[MrKnowAll]

YOU READ MY MIND. :)