The Corrupted Crusader

A crusader battles with his madness

  Take me god If you exist. I can't take this anymore. I have come to my fathers stables every time the need arrives, debating whether or not something could save me from myself. This craving for blood has reached it's peak. No longer can I come here and attempt to hold myself from what I wanted inside. The monster within me wants to feed. Tonight is the night I finally become what I truly am. Something my crusader brethren would not take kindly to knowing. For two years I would go out on a crusade with my fellow holy warriors of the church to the north west where filthy savages who practiced strange forms of witch craft resided. If they would not revoke their "gods" well...i'll leave the rest for you to imagine what we had to do in the name of god.

I knew in the back of my mind, locked away from conscious thought that I did this only for the sake of keeping whatever demon hid within me, Hidden away. Human blood was the only thing that satisfied it. I tried to kill animals but that was never pleasing enough. Something about a sinners flesh spraying bodily fluids from a torn wound and hearing them scream, cry, and beg for mercy was the feeling I so deeply desired. Watching in slow motion as the arteries from my victims bodies spewed all over me was orgasmic. Smelling and tasting the sweet metallic liquid from my enemies was a mania i couldn't shake.

This feeling of euphoria only lasted so long before the beast wanted more. Sometimes I could hear it in the back of my mind whispering words of death, rape, torture, and deception. I never really fought the voice, for it made me feel not so alone in this disappointingly empty world. Sometimes when my brothers in arms were out hunting food in the forest, when we were in the northwestern territories, I would sit there and just talk to the voice, telling him how much I can't wait for the next kill and feeling a warmth inside of me that felt, soothing and comforting as if responding with joy to my words. For awhile it felt like I was at peace with myself and satisfied because of the continuous slaughter, but whatever was inside of me was becoming more and more forceful.

I stood up from the hay in the stable and began to make my way into the inn where my brothers-in-arms resided for the time being, drinking heavily and swapping stories of glory I assume. I made it to the window on the side of the inn where it was too dark for them to see outside. There wasn't much of a moon today so this will be to my advantage. Suddenly a lurching and twisting came about my body and I began to feel the monster inside fighting his way through. This is it! This is the end! This is the new beginning! I shall become the demon I truly am! “bend to me mortal!” I heard from a low guttural voice echoing throughout my mind. I have never heard him so clear! It was always whispers and feelings he gave me!

I began to convulse and puke all over the ground, my puke was cherry red with the smell of fresh feces. I fell to the ground onto my knees and continued to contort and puke. I started to growl and feel as if I was slowly losing grip on reality. Suddenly in a flash of madness I jumped to my feet and screamed in a voice not of my own. “arrrggghhhhh im free! Free at long last! Death has come for you paladins! Spill yourselves before me!” I ran through the door blade drawn and beheaded the first man I came upon and watched his head roll towards my fellow soldiers. They looked at it, then looked at me and yelled “what in thy fathers name has taken you Joseph!” I didn't even understand them, I just lunged forward in anticipation of the gore to soon cover my skin like honey.

Like a fool the demon who took over my mind threw myself at the swords swinging at me and within seconds everything went black. Then suddenly I was standing over myself, looking down and thinking clearly for the first time since I can recall. Half expecting to see a twisted demon of some sort on the floor was really just me. Nothing had changed in my appearance, I didn't look any different, and a sudden realization coursed through my spirit when I heard my brothers say mumbled things like they should have killed me a long time ago. Always talking to myself, and acting strange, and yet they didn't. They felt sorry for me. So now I stand here with an angels hand on my shoulder understanding that I was just mad. Now, I am finally free of the madness that took hold of me for so long.

I turned around to thank the angel for granting me forgiveness and bringing me this opportunity to go to heaven and live happy, finally, after years of continuous mental torture. I could be finally satisfied without the voices in my mind. instead i looked up to see the hood of death before me. His hand on my shoulder gripping tighter and tighter. Two red balls of light began to glow where his eyes were suppose to be, and through death himself Satan spoke to me. “You lived your life in sin, mad or not, you have killed for no other reason than the thrill. I have a special place here for you Joseph.”

I tried to scream but nothing came out, I attempted to run but my legs would not move. He had control of my very ethereal form. I felt myself being sucked into the hood of Satan's messenger, and while this happened I felt the fires of hell upon me as I was pulled down into the lower realm. Hearing nothing but the crying and screaming of billions. The last thing I heard before my consciousness left me was the maniacal laughter of the dark lord himself and the snapping of his whip upon our backs as we attempted to escape the eternal fire that engulfed us all.