The Killers last moment

A Story by Mrdeep

very depressing story of a man who killed his family and makes a life changing decision

Maybe One day...I will feel again. This emptiness in me grows as each second ticks in this infinite clock. I destroyed everything I ever wanted. Killed everyone that ever loved me. As I sit here in this ragged apartment room in the lower east side. I can't help but notice that the lamp light that engulfs my paper that I write upon, is the only symbol of light in my life. Maybe this is then end for me.

Maybe this light resembles the end of this tortured life. This battle in my mind. The demons that slam against my consciousness screaming, wailing and laughing at my own self infliction. I'm writing this in hopes that by the end of this my mother would come back from her shallow grave I buried her in and forgive me. wrap her arms around me, crying and laughing, whispering words of love. Telling me she will take care of me again, and help put my unstable mind at ease. I would cry holding her knowing that this is just a fantasy. Smelling her lavender perfume one last time before she slips away from me once more.

picking up the knife next to me, i slashed down my wrist. Letting the blood pour out of me like a small waterfall. Took one last swig of my whiskey and tossed it across the room, letting myself go. I could hear my brothers annoying laugh in the back of my mind, smell my mothers sweet comforting fragrance in the air, hear my father coughing from smoking cigarettes in the garage. Finally I was back home, before all the murder, before the cutting, before the insanity, and before the loneliness. I was back home surrounded by love.

I felt my mother lift me up onto my feet and hold me once more telling me “baby I will always love you, even though I am gone, you will be with me soon enough. The pain will end and I will be here for you forever. You don't have to cut yourself to feel anymore, you don't have to drink yourself to sleep every night just to try and stop thinking about something you couldn't control. I love you, come to me.”

I began to feel like I was drifting, slowly fading away from my tormented self, a feeling of bliss took hold of me, and I cried for one last time, knowing that the pain was over, no more killing, no more cutting, no more loneliness. I will finally be with them again.

finally...