Your Facade

The best time for me to write a poem is before sleep after a long day of sports! =) I didn't know what to write. Thus, I double-click my ITunes, listened to some Corrinne May, and figure out in a minute or thirty on what to write. So here it is! ;D

Life's a venetian party,


don't you think?


Wearing masks


we're guilty of playing a game.


Believing in our facade,


we lure our truest friends into a blindfolded game of chess,


the game that not you, nor I are masters at.


It's not what we believe,


neither is it our thoughts that makes us.


It's what the


colour, paint, decor


on our frontage, our mask, our facade,


that makes us.


Its heartening to say,


We're our facade - Life's a venetian party.

Author's Note

Give your opinions on the matter! Its greatly appreciated! ^^
I love love love looking at the other side of the fence! haha

Reviews

[Freedom]

I like your significance; I love when people confront the matter of self-actualization. It's true, we all do just what you said; we wear our masks and however those masks are painted is not only how others see us, but how we really see ourselves.

Just my thoughts, though; I'm ususally turned off to poems that employ different fonts or colors or odd spacing; I just think that this poem in particular (although there are many on WC) doesn't need anything fancy like that to have the impact it does. In fact, I think that without all the extra stuff it would pull together more, because especially with that sort of spacing, the audience can't take it in as they otherwise could.

Oh, in line 9, "neither is it our thoughts that makes us." Should be "neither is it our thoughts that make us."

And as a side note; every writer has his/her preferences as far as syntax, so I don't mean this as a critique so much as a personal opinion; but I think that the poem would have much more of an impact without line 2. I may feel that way just because I hold some hostility towards addressing the audience directly in poetry; I just find it a bit cliche, I suppose, and as we all know, even a touch of cliche is usually enough to kill the impact of a poem, no matter how good the significance might be.

But really, great writing; I hope you keep facing these deeper subjects that are usually untouched.

[An owl on the moon]

Always intrigued by the idea of wearing masks (I did it for so long!), and here you make the experience so deeply moving and visual. The idea of the Venetian party is brilliant!

[..R.I.P..]

Very thought provoking. Very nicely written.

Thanks for sharing.
xoxo
~JaniK

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Oh this is so true... such emotions and reality.. blended in simple yet powerful words... I have lived it all.. have been the one not wanted and life of the party so I know this very well.. as a tomboy.. I matured later.. my friends did not want me around with my long scraggly hair and no make up.. once I had my hair done and make-up mastered by 15.. I just didn't know I had so many friends.. NOT... that is a facade.. they want to be around you for appearances..talk behind your back.. scare your TRUE friends away.. I say be yourself.. as a woman.. we wear our masks.. I have toned mine down.. and found life being a thrill-seeking tomboy fun again! (you'll find me fishing... or riding bike thank you! Although I have developed a taste for fine dining/cooking) If you don't fit in.. you are lucky I say should concentrate on school and dreams get a great job.. great write.. thank you for sharing =)

[~Mariposa Una Lila~]

Excellent my friend....good way to look at life! thanks for sending this to me..i have very much enjoyed it...x0x00x0