Your Facade

The best time for me to write a poem is before sleep after a long day of sports! =) I didn't know what to write. Thus, I double-click my ITunes, listened to some Corrinne May, and figure out in a minute or thirty on what to write. So here it is! ;D

Life's a venetian party,


don't you think?


Wearing masks


we're guilty of playing a game.


Believing in our facade,


we lure our truest friends into a blindfolded game of chess,


the game that not you, nor I are masters at.


It's not what we believe,


neither is it our thoughts that makes us.


It's what the


colour, paint, decor


on our frontage, our mask, our facade,


that makes us.


Its heartening to say,


We're our facade - Life's a venetian party.

Author's Note

Give your opinions on the matter! Its greatly appreciated! ^^
I love love love looking at the other side of the fence! haha

Reviews

[Freedom]

I like your significance; I love when people confront the matter of self-actualization. It's true, we all do just what you said; we wear our masks and however those masks are painted is not only how others see us, but how we really see ourselves.

Just my thoughts, though; I'm ususally turned off to poems that employ different fonts or colors or odd spacing; I just think that this poem in particular (although there are many on WC) doesn't need anything fancy like that to have the impact it does. In fact, I think that without all the extra stuff it would pull together more, because especially with that sort of spacing, the audience can't take it in as they otherwise could.

Oh, in line 9, "neither is it our thoughts that makes us." Should be "neither is it our thoughts that make us."

And as a side note; every writer has his/her preferences as far as syntax, so I don't mean this as a critique so much as a personal opinion; but I think that the poem would have much more of an impact without line 2. I may feel that way just because I hold some hostility towards addressing the audience directly in poetry; I just find it a bit cliche, I suppose, and as we all know, even a touch of cliche is usually enough to kill the impact of a poem, no matter how good the significance might be.

But really, great writing; I hope you keep facing these deeper subjects that are usually untouched.

[Katie Louise Hughes]

I love the idea- that we are not our thoughts or what we believe...And honestly; what does make us?? This reminds me of the song by Cat Stevens called I Wish. "I wish I knew, I wish I knew. What makes me me and what makes you you." We do all wear masks, and some of us easily can change that mask when we are around certain people. I don't know the answer, but I like this poem and your attempts at answering it. "It's what the colour, paint, decor" Thanks again for another fantastic poem!! Keep up the writing!! :D

[Rc R. Vagilidad]

Great. I am entwined to various inspiration too. I guess I will have to hear the specifics on where Corrine May has inspired you to writing this wonderful piece.

About the poem, just some thoughts though , I would suggest the breaking off of lines be cut-short so it won't be hard to digest. (it won't matter anyway how you present it, it is what the message that matters most) (=^^,=)

I am totally agreeing to this. We can only be what are facades made us face the world, we are more likely to be prejudged drastically without some sort of looking through. Our selves are just some speck of foundation and lip gloss traitorously embossed to reckon the true self.

".....we lure our truest friends into a blindfolded game of chess,
the game that not you, nor I are masters at."

This is so fantastic. I never thought facade be of use to personify a game of chess. I love how this was juxtaposed to a totally insignificant game where its complexity be rendered out from friendship and betrayal.

Two thumbs up!

[Stephanie]

First of all, this is simply fantastic! We all wear a mask and a complete facade, then we draw others into a complete lie with us. The idea of a Venetian party is amazing imagery, and the whole concept of this poem is brilliant. You know, I never did come up with a "second of all", haha. Great work :]

[chocolate_addict]

This piece has a truth to it. The game we all play behind masks of soceity, is like a party. Entertaining, mysterious, and at times horrifyingly fake.

Wonderfully done poem you have here. The tone and flow was well placed with the words and breaks.

:D

[Audrey Joanne]

i love this!!!

[faris]

'we lure our truest friends into a blindfolded game of chess'
thats so true.
i totally agree with that and it reminds me of some things..
great poem, looking forward to another one!
:D

[Sharooooooooon]

It's what the
colour, paint, decor
on our frontage, our mask, our facade,
that makes us.

i like this the best.
it's so true and so real.
brings a whole new perspective to what we portray to others and it's not our true selves.
write more!
(:

[mmzx]

Believing in our facade,
we lure our truest friends into a blindfolded game of chess,
the game that not you, nor I are masters at.

I like this line.
It's true yeah, I totally agree with what you said.
Sigh.

And oh, replying to your review;
Can't tell you.
:X

[Stalker]

It was a wonderfuly true peom. Thanks for the read request I love this kind of stuff, and much more. Don't think twice about it man, if you have something that you wish for me to review send it.