Contained

Keeping ones murderous thoughts to oneself...

I want to strangle the phone until it bleeds,

crack the casing and shatter electronics,

chew the cords to mangled mush.

I wish it were you my fingers are wrapped around.

Tightening grasp, I think of your eyes

bulging like the time you tried to choke me unconscious in the kitchen--

the crazed gleam, some passionate wrath

putting its pressure behind your eyeballs and around my neck.

Oh! how I want for your blood on my hands

your meat under my nails

your last breath on my lips

To hold the tendrils of your heart and make a bracelet from them

as a totem to MY strengths.

As for now...the only show of strength I have

is the absence of frenzy.

I wish I could tear myself open for you--

show the steamy inside of all that I am.

Don't you want to live through my memories?

Hear all the unfinished and unspoken sentences?

To see the you and feel the way I do?

Don't you want to wish these wishes in my heart?

Do you want to dream these dreams, envision the visions,

and hope against all hope these hopes of mine?

Bloody entrails on the floor

Never there, yet nevermore!