(apathetic addiction)

Unconventional style/phrasing, true story

Well, I was sitting waiting for him to realize I wasn't coming back and I felt it. Injected into my veins, springing up my nose and dissolving on my tongue. Apathy, my favourite drug.

Ah yes, the open void that closes the heart, dulls all communications, bleeds out like  a hole in the intestines. Lady Numb will take care of you, be the secretary of emotion and file it all away so you won't have to get bogged down in silly details. Be sure to dose up each morning before showing your face and as needed throughout the day........The night cold started to get to me, shiver breaking my mute scream into an odd giggle that always scares the s**t out of me. And then, a surprisingly coherent thought:"I thought it would hurt so much more, even though I am shredding on the inside-- But I've been expecting it for so long I'm already halfway through the grieving process."

My old familiar shields, not the least offended I had lain them down in the first place, picked themselves up and arranged before me with out my command. Perhaps I should secure the fortress. Get ready for the war, for this was hardly a scrimmage and the next wave comes.

Author's Note

Uh, this is personal but I do appreciate criticism on the writing itself as well as the style.

Reviews

[Oddpoet]

I truly loved this write! Your metaphors were outstanding!

"Lady Numb will take care of you"
"be the secretary of emotion and file it all away so you won't have to get bogged down in silly details."
Two of the many lines I liked.

You brought my own "pain" to life (in a good way) If such a thing is possible.

Most excellent write 5 stars

In terms of criticism, I have none with the words, concept, or flow of your work. I would just suggest isolating your wonderful words in lines and and adding spacing. This way the reader can focus on that particular line and subsequent lines one at a time.
Simply a presentation thing, sorta like the useless parsley on the plate you get at the at expensive restaurant. I guess parsley is expensive.

Again outstanding write!

[Michael X]

apathetic addiction- is what you capture in your words, the emotion- the way you laid out the style
works well with what's being projected, expressed as a telling-the opening images are powerful.

when thinking about things like needles..and the effects such efforts to numb the senses would have
on the mind and body-the behavior as well as side effects- then describing the particulars when

the euphoric feeling starts to dissipate and one has to face the familiars-leaves much to contemplate,
I really enjoyed reading this, keep up the good work. Take Care, Mike