Writing Challenge: Write your own suicide note.

I am in no way planning on hurting myself or killing myself. This is just a writing challenge.

To anyone reading this. It was simply a writing challenge. I wanted to see what I would write if I wrote my own suicide note. I Imagine this is what it would look like. I am in no way planning on hurting myself, or anyone else for that matter.

Dear World,

It's not your fault. Now you may ask what isn't your fault? The answer is simply, everything. Rather you believe in God or that the world was created by random chance. The simple fact is that nothing was ever really meant to be the way it is. Adam and Eve bit the apple. We evolved from monkeys. Whichever way you look at it. Were fucked. The world is in anarchy.

One that vilifies love and compassion. Instead praising tradition and violence that excludes or divides us from each other. Rather that be race or religion. We thrive off of what makes us different from anybody and everybody else. When the truth is there isn't jack s**t special about anyone. There is seven billion people on this planet. Let's just say for the point of argument. God did create each one of us by loving hand. Like an artist with brush or chisel. God wanted us all to deal with bullshit jobs and rules of society that we never agreed to? Well, one could argue God never intended this. Which is utter bullshit given that he is a all knowing and all seeing God. Who keeps pumping out "Special" people to live in this hell hole. Doesn't sound like a loving god to me.

Now let's bounce the other way. It's all random. Nothing you say, do, or think. Will ever matter in the grand scheme of things. This basically means you can do whatever the hell you want because what difference does it make. Your life is random. Pointless and will be disregarded when you die. Unless you're a f*****g old rich white guy or saint. Truth is humanity is one step away from catastrophe of natural designs or mechanical/biological. So now that the idea of you being "Special" is gone from your head. You might call me cynical. That I'm negative.  You might be right. However I did say that this isn't your fault. That might be confusing but allow me to explain.

From the moment, some random dick found a shiny rock on the floor and showed it to his friends. Envy and greed became  the foundations of our race. We simply want what we cannot have. Its genetically designed into us to desire more then what we have. Probably for some reason like winter or some s**t. Nonetheless this was all decided before you, the reader or I, the writer, was ever born. America was founded by old white men who were pissed off at the English. The English rose to power at the expense of others and so on and so forth. We never really had any chance did we? Its like a perpetual motion machine of s**t. One that was built but cannot be stopped.

I genuinely believe that humanity does care for each other. The capacity for human kindness is shown day in and day out. Simply look around you and you can find it. To those beleaguered souls. I compliment you on your strength and tenacity. One that I simply do not have. I am a child of greed. I want more then I can have. Day after day, I see myself wasting away either due to health or some other reason beyond my control. I don't have the courage to live for the idea of making someone elses life better. I am not this self sacrificing. I want to see the world.  I want and desire things. Now I can hear some of you saying. "Well, pull up your boot strings and quit your bitching." This isn't a cry for help. This is a resignation. I will not be a cog in this machine of despondecy and ultimate destruction.

Why the f**k should I contribute? So my 401k may or may not explode in my face. Maybe if I'm lucky retire? Enjoy the last bits of time on the planet with a body that has been torn asunder by time, stress and labor? Perhaps edge my way around some sort of disease. This is the glamorous life I hope to achieve at the end of my long life? Perhaps spout some words of wisdom and knowledge to a new generation? One that will make the same damn mistakes and more then likely eventually be stupid enough to blow the god damn planet to bits?

No.

I relent. My tirade is over. It's not my fault, and it's not your fault. Who is to blame? Who gives a s**t. Like I said I won't be a cog in the machine any longer. If your looking for someone to blame in this letter. Either me or some driving force like my parents, pastor, teacher. Your missing the point.  So I absolve you world of your crimes and hate. You never really had a chance.
There is no magic in this world. Only hard truths. I am not special. God has turned his back on us. We are random. We are pointless.

With that. I say to my loved ones. Do not cry. I have chosen a brave and cowardly new path. If there is answers. I will find them. If there isn't. I have found rest and the comfort of nothingness. No pain shall follow me or grief. I am absolved. I am free. I only hope you can understand the way I see the world. Actually, perhaps its better that you don't. Perhaps truly, ignorance is bliss. Knowledge has brought me nothing but pain and questions. None of which anyone can answer nor god, nor man.

Goodbye, World.

I will not miss you. Nor will you miss me. Such is the way of things.

Author's Note

This is what I like to call garbage writing. I just felt the need to write it and put it out there. There is no meaning for you to seek. It's just something I wrote. I wasn't trying to be coherent or make any sense.
Pardon my grammar btw.