Stream of unconsciousness

Stream of unconsciousness

A Poem by MrJodie
"

It's an experiment.

"

it is just an experiment and nothing else to see if i am capable of typing out all of the thoughts that float through my head without any punctuation as if my entire existence were just one giant run-on sentence that stretched from here to the end of that asphalt strip in the middle of the vanishing point on the horizon of my mind's eye because i am not capable of actually doing anything without editing it down to nothing or is that something i am never sure and yet so sure that i am willing to put it all out there and then insert this line so that you'll send me a message with the words i got it, Jodie, i got it in the subject line because you were brave enough to read through the mindless babble of a man on the edge of sanitary who could use a psychological shower and wishes that he hadn't quit smoking but is completely aware that it is a nasty, smelly habit that even thoughts that participate are loathe to present and is this poetry or prose or just inanity and well organized gibberish wrapped up in the pretty package of style without substance so i am asking myself why even bother but its just an experiment and nothing else and it's nothing else its just an experiment

 

Isn't it?

© 2008 MrJodie


Author's Note

MrJodie
Message?

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I think it's a project in growth. Some soil and seeds ... a little bit of fertilizer and you're on your way to attempting (and succeeding) at a very difficult task. Being ok, with not being perfect. Not placing the bandaids on the hurts of those that will learn from the scratch on their knees....not placing the comments where they are not asked for (I COULD LEARN A LITTLE BIT OF THAT) and placing the semi-serious words in such a way that even without the punctuation they speak volumes.

Yes, my friend. You have succeeded.

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

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ljc
"at the edge of sanitary"? what a funny play off the expected. Enjoying the unique twists of your experimental writing.

Posted 15 Years Ago


Fun experiment. Your thoughts are so much more coherent than mine!

Message? Hmmm. That there's some editing and translation, still, in the effort to turn the murk of thought into alphabetical representation shaped by grammar? (No punctuation, but the grammar is still in there.)

Posted 15 Years Ago


sometimes we gotta experiment. how do we grow if we don't throw the rulebook out the proverbial window?

i think this is a great start. writing freeverse comes with practise which trust me the irony is not lost on me. lol.

i think your "pyschological shower" is a great image. also the fact that your unconscious diatribe brought up a kicked smoking habit is interesting.

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

WOW GREAT JOB !!! I have done this once or twice.... its a good exercise.

Posted 16 Years Ago


a writer after my heart...NO PUNCTUATION, NO EDITING...I must say life provides us with one gigantic run-on sentence...monotony, schedules, and the daily grind leaves one with no time to sort the thoughts and put them in their proper place...addiction to redemption

since we are on the same medication, I was quite capable of following your fragmentary thought...my dear, your subliminal interior monologue is almost comparable to a Lacanic Death Drive :o)...LOL...something born of loss creates a desire...loss of punctuation, loss of smoking, loss of sanity, loss of pretty packages

A SYMBOLIC (UN)MEANINGFUL REHEARSAL FOR OPENING NIGHT :o)...Jodie, I got it!

Posted 16 Years Ago


It is - like water rushing to find an escape! Like air from a let go balloon.... Like not stopping for breath in a story that needs to be told ...now! I get it, I like I it and I know it!

Kath

Posted 16 Years Ago


Great experiment. My favorite form of writing.

Posted 16 Years Ago


Yes, dear friend! I call it "mind chatter," that voice(s) in the head that constantly churns until we are able to silence it/them. It took me several years and a semi-Buddhist method of meditation to be able to do this. Then I began to hear a more universal voice, one that wasn't focused on me, but on all of us together. I don't know how a person hears this voice more clearly. It's like trying to teach someone the inner workings of the body when most bodily functions happen without our realizing. It's something each must learn in his or her own way, how to silence the mundane and transcend into higher states of consciousness. Much love to you, dear friend....

Posted 16 Years Ago


then insert this line so that you'll send me a message with the words i got it,

Posted 16 Years Ago


I think it's a project in growth. Some soil and seeds ... a little bit of fertilizer and you're on your way to attempting (and succeeding) at a very difficult task. Being ok, with not being perfect. Not placing the bandaids on the hurts of those that will learn from the scratch on their knees....not placing the comments where they are not asked for (I COULD LEARN A LITTLE BIT OF THAT) and placing the semi-serious words in such a way that even without the punctuation they speak volumes.

Yes, my friend. You have succeeded.

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 2, 2008

Author

MrJodie
MrJodie

Troutdale, OR



About
I live in Troutdale, Oregon, a suburb of Portland. I'm currently working as a computer systems administrator for a manufacturing company in Vancouver and write only as a hobby. However, I've dreamed.. more..

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