Elephant Trunk

This is for the "Calling All Angels" contest. Bless you Lily1111. Namaste.

The sound of booted feet
Like gunshots in the street
And your heart you hear, a beat
Khartoum

 

A frightened cry
Rips through an angry sky
A last breath is breathed, a sigh
Khartoum

  

Huddled in your skin
Your birthplace is your only sin
Hiding out is better than, hiding in
Khartoum

  

Starving for a touch
The bruises wouldn't hurt so much
Your family didn't suffer, for such
Khartoum

  

Peace cries without a child
The soldier's lust is running wild
And the media dulls the horror, so mild
Khartoum

  

We are the ones who took their lives
Ours are the best and sharpest knives
While responsibility is wasted on pity, hate thrives
Khartoum

Author's Note

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." ~ Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Reviews

[Nicholas Hallows]

Very well done!

This could apply to any war-torn city, not only Khartoum. You depict the innocent caught in a war that has nothing to do with them, except for being the place they were born, extremely well.

I liked the repetition of Khartoum. Not only for the emphasis but for the almost onomatapoeic nature of the world that impacts like a bomb.

We can never really know the true affect on the lives of the ones caught in the middle. You're right, even through the media it can seem like a distant issue where the horror can never really be captured.

Great piece. Even if it only makes people aware of 'what Khartoum meant' it is worth the write.

[ljc]

Heavy and well put.

[ElJays Nicholas]

The line which stands out to me is, "Your birthplace is your only sin." It would be so much easier for people to understand if they place themselves in other shoes, in other skins. It doesn't matter where you are born and raised. There are few places on earth where ignorance does not impede the power of love. We are all the same here underneath these belief systems. The more we obliterate the belief systems, the closer we are to each other at the heart and the root. Much love to you, Jodie....

[Lalli]

snap snap

preach on! I really love the awareness that shines through in your message.
your pen, was written fluent and captivatingly(I was captivated from the first 2 words great opening stanza)
The word choice added sensory, autidory, visual, and invoking raw emotion

So being the awareness poet I am, and a lover of rhytmn and rhyme.... mr. jodie my friend this poem is now one of my favorites. The rhythmn that flows through this entire piece.

My friend... job well done! its seem you too are making tremendous strides within your writing and i'm loving the oppertunity to watch you grow as well.
thanx for the read request

Much love n respect

-Lalli

[zig]

if youre not going to take the time to read or review any of my posts, share your thoughts with me in regards to my work, then stop sending me read requests. thanks for understanding. zig

[Poeticpiers]

the repeton adds emphasis to your underlying theme Injustice is to be found everywhere Im afraid not just Khartoum

[Peachy]

I like this. I wish I knew what Khartoum meant though