Top Seven Fortune Cookies You will Never See

For the "Clever Fortune Cookie" Contest.

7. The man in the booth behind you is your long lost brother. Don't offer him money.

 

6. Indiana Jones And The Bedpan Of Destiny coming soon to a theatre near you.

 

5. You will soon embark on a long journey... to the bathroom.

 

4. This is the only sentence you can't end with "in bed."

 

3. You always forget you're allergic to fortune cookies, brought to you by Benadryl.

 

2. You will walk out of this restaurant and be run over by a freak herd of stampeding hamsters.  Try not to giggle.

 

and the number one fortune cookie you'll never see:

 

1. You're a wonderful person and everybody likes... sorry, I just can't say it with a straight face.

Reviews

[zig]

i dont know if you are familar with this fact: if you eat two furtune cookies at the same time, they will cancel each other and leave you without fate... thats the only escape hatch i know of, and no way of really know whether it works or not. very clever my friend, i will forever be looking over my sholder watching for hamsters. enjoyed much. zig

[Gabi V.]

i like the lightheartedness.

[Sarah Hawkinson]

Haha that made me laugh. great job!

[James K. Blaylock]

Wonderful stuff here, my friend. Congrats, on the win...!

jkb

[Pork Chopkins]

Funny stuff. I'm especially fond of the "Indiana Jones & the Bedpan of Destiny" one (honestly, how long does Harrison Ford think he can do this s**t?)

Anyway, good for a cheap laugh, even if they weren't especially poetic or anything like that (being "poetic" and "provocative" and "intelligent" is a little overrated if you ask me, anyway).

[Your Tasty Field Adviso..]

um.... i absolutely dont think this is a good poem. it's nothing near the artistic ability and beauty of words that poetry have. this is just a list that some shmo like me would just run across on a t-shirt in a walmart. it is funny, but this is not a poem. sorry.

[Rambling Prose]

Thank you for helping to paint a smile across my face! I actually giggled out-loud at the last one! Ahem, sorry, I can't type this with a straight face!

~lighthearted writes are a good thing~

[Nina Love]

lmao
you just brightened my day
thanks for making me smile.
love #2!!!

[RHEA CROSLEY]

Definitely #2 and 3 are the funniest. Thanks for the laugh.

This is funny! I love the number one reason! Although, I like number seven! What a great fortune! Very funny!