Let's contemplate our navel...

One person can only take enough junk in their inbox before they snap. I snapped early.

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

 

No, the one on the orange. Get your fingers outta there, you weirdo!

I'm still on this spam rampage. These people are a menace. Honestly. I'm just glad that they're only wasting a few electrons and people's time. The rate at which they'd be killing trees before the advent of the internet is staggering. So, in order to get it out of my system, off my chest and into your lives I've decided I need to dedicate a top ten to them.

The Top Ten Responses To Spam:

10. Thank you for informing me of my penile inadequacy, but I'm a woman.

9. Please file my application for dating services under "lonely inmates with a photographic memory."

8. If your pharmacy needs any new suppliers I can hook you up with my cousin Fernando in Colombia.
7. Please send all copies of your software titles to the address of your local FBI office listed below.

6. My gawd!! That's the best rate ever! And you can finance people with no job, bad credit and a list of fraud charges a mile long, right?

5. Um, I love you, too... Who are you?

4. Mail System Error, huh? That's okay, I'll send it via carrier rhino, next time.

3. Thank you. You've just sent your webcam invitation to a lonely, violent sex offender with no impulse control.

2. Please send me more information on how to get rid of you.

and the number one response to spam:

1. I would like to say thank you by ordering a round of laxatives for your entire organization.