Pax et Blogum...

Ooh, look, I've switched to Latin. Guess that F in High School didn't... wait, THAT'S NOT LATIN!!!

Thursday, September 23, 2004

 

The kind St. Francis of Assisi used to wish all those he wrote "Pax et bonum," literally translated "Peace and happiness," at the end of each of his letters. It's inspiring and so touching to be able to have a very special blessing to bestow on those we reach out to daily. Her are some new blessings that are so poignant in today's modern world. A little bit of magic, from the mega-corporations you already buy from, that will hopefully get you through your day and back for more of the products you're spending all your money on.

The Top Ten Blessings From The Corporate World:

10. Fragosus et extermino: Microsoft's firm wish that you help keep their tech support personnel employed and off the streets. (lit. "Crash and burn")

9. Puteo omnis tu egeo: The Gillette corporation hopes that you exercise regularly and raise your body temperature to it's fullest potential. (lit. "Stink all you want")

8. Fero poerna: Whether it's watching WWF, golf or a thirty-two hour root canal marathon on cable, it's all the same. (lit. "Bring the pain")

7. Asinus incendium: Taco Bell and Del Taco both hope that you've enjoyed their new reformulated ultra-hot sauces. (lit. "A*s on fire")

6. Clausus sustuli: Verizon wireless wants to make sure that every person sitting next to you in the theatre or that quiet little bistro has a cell phone with a strong signal. (lit. "Shut up!!!")

5. Alius damnare discus: AOL is nearing the completion of it's master plan to wallpaper Greenland with the latest version of their software. (lit. "Another damn disc?")

4. Non sentire personum cruses: Sony Pictures is sincerely gambling that people will be able to sit through all four and a half hours of their newest saga in answer to the success of Lord of the Rings. (lit. "I can't feel my legs!")

3. Vocare novum novum unus: BMW boasts that driving their cars will give you the thrill of your mid-life crisis. (lit. "Call 9-1-1")

2. Unde an pulpa: It's a cry from all those trendy restaurants now trying to cater to all the people who now want their burgers with no bun. (lit. "Where's the meat!")

and the number one blessing from the corporate world:

1. Carpe piscis: Disney's hope that you'll shell out a paltry twenty-bucks to buy the tenth sequel to Finding Nemo. (lit. "Sieze the fish")