Contrition

I wrote this after an argument with my wife that left me feeling devastated.

Inch by inch I crawl

From the bloody conflagration of my shame

My ego weighs down on me

Like a torn and ragged cloak

It hangs, sodden with my tears

My pride has become humiliation

 

Never before have I felt so naked

In powerful defeat have I been beaten

Cast out and afraid, I crawl

What mask, what hope, what face?

It is not my enemy who has decimated me

I am become my destroyer

 

Can anyone survive themselves?

When their lover and their life

Stands nearby calling out in fear

Like sirens to the brink of doom it seems

Another chance, another hope and still a blunder

There is no peace when the war is in the soul

Author's Note

Tempo? Formatting? Overall feelings?

Reviews

[Thomas James Martin]

I would rush over and congratulate you on a fine poem, but I woul have to crawl.

Tom

[Lydia R. Ferraro]

Wow, this was powerful. The flow of it all was excellent-no brief interruptions, just a clear depiction of the intense emotions.

I loved the ending as well. "There is no peace when the war is in the soul"...

This is relatable. Thank you.

[DarkAngelWriter]

I love it. Just... just love it.

[MrJodie]

Responding to the comment about "I am become my destroyer." That was completely intentional. It is olde world English, I'll admit, but it is proper. To say "I am becoming my destroyer" would imply that it hasn't fully happened or to say "I am my destroyer" would imply something more casual rather than the mystical transformation I was trying to speak of in the current tense. I could have said "I have become my destroyer" but am is far more present and powerful to me. I guess it's also a more British way of speaking, as well. In the UK one would say that they are "going to hospital" rather than "going to the hospital" as we would here in the states.

I'll confess, it's also a very subtle nod to the comment by Robert Oppenheimer, when writing about the detonation of the first atomic bomb, who said, "I'm am become death, the destroyer of worlds." Which, actually, is a derivation of a line from the text of the Bhagavad Gita.

Anyway, please keep the comments coming. It helps me learn!

[Annalisa]

...I loved this, it really is food for thought. There was one typo though, in the line "I am become my destroyer" you either need to change it to "I am becoming my destroyer" or "I am my destroyer" otherwise the verbs contradict themselves... But I loved this piece and am steeling it for my favorites...

[justjenn_2u]

The war within, stronger than a battle with anyone else. Even harder when it's hard to look in the mirror into own eyes. I know this feeling. Very powerful!