Mental Chess

To keep me from moving was your goal.
To keep you thinking that you could trap me
was mine.
Forever you thought that I would be blind.
But it didn't take me forever to pinpoint
your kind.

The fragile physical, and false
misconceptions of mental strength.
Your ignorance has no further clearence for
emotional endearnment.
Falsified actions has left my broken heart
pieces mixed and not macthing.
All for simple sexual satisfaction.

My trap for you caused me to fall over your
obstacles.
Then you casued me to fall for you.
Away from my feelings you flew.
Now the mental and phyical are through, the
emotinal anguish can come through.
                                

Reviews

[M. View]

I like this. It shows that you cared for someone that ran away from you when you wanted only one thing out of the relationship but got trapped by your own emotions. To compare it to chess was a great way to persent this relationship.

Then you casued me to fall for you.
Away from my feelings you flew.
Now the mental and phyical are through, the
emotinal anguish can come through.

Great Write Good Brother

[Céce]

WOW...what a piece. It was really the title that caught my attention. I have played chess and never have won, so the thought of 'mental chess' hurt!! lol, this is a great piece and you have conveyed the thoughts and emotions very well.

-Jane

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Cre..]

I was sold from the first two lines!
I thought I knew where this was going, but it was slightly different

"Falsified actions has left my broken heart
pieces mixed and not macthing.
All for simple sexual satisfaction."

Great flow and would love to read a longer version because you really have something going with this! The cadence is untouchable again and I wish I'd a thought of this premise first! Good write......

[raining]

The mental and physical aspects of love, and the third, emotions, that is the hardest.

"Trap me...." that is a chess-like move. "To keep me from moving... your goal", again game move language and pieces...
But then those metaphors stop. the poem is strong in language, but with the use of more chess terms do you think it would give the poem a three dimensional aspect? I think you definatly have a strong theme, and you know where you want to go. This poem is not wishy washy.
I do suggest trying more metaphor ideas? Anyway. i liked how you wrote this, the rhyme scheme is good, i myself cannot rhyme anything. Hope you dont mind me critiquing. it is a good poem thanks raining.

[sheerpoetry]

I still cant see how the came is played even in the form of poetry which is truly the only time i understand. mabey i just choose not to.

[poetic soul]

whooooa!!!!
man o man!! this mental chess can be fatal..... thrilling write...very deep and intense...

:) Smiles,
Poetic Soul