Wet Matches

With every cold little surprise

That dashed across my confused, green eyes

My mind tipped ship like lightning had hit;

It was raining inside.

Thunder rumbled in the distance of my head

Above me, the quiet rage so softly strong it shook my bed.

I mumbled under my breath when a rat a

tat… tat, sounded at my window.

I took a struggled breath this time without muttering, till it caught like distraught fabric on a

door nail.

Curtains and lazy tries set aside, I strode to the pained glass

at once.

A figure, maybe a shadow, perhaps a man who’d been followed stood hollow on the other side of the pane.

He was quiet, say.. shy, or maybe he just needed to get dry.

But it wasn’t raining outside…

Oh what had I done to deserve such weather, I thought,

when a wry smile trickled from his lips and hit me in the chest.

My neck, caught. only t Hen did I trip, did I fall,

I called, . . . out to the strange friend, the friendly stranger, someone I couldn’t see that I knew, a someone I didn’t know that I saw… I hadn’t known.

He stopped me when I fell, we were both on the ground and I couldn’t tell what he told, . . . I hadn’t known.

My wet lashes tickled me awake. I had had a dream, . . . that wasn’t fake. I was awake.  

The whole time my eyes were open, not closed, and it didn’t seem to strike any one odd, they just…    jotted down notes.

Author's Note

Please don't steal my work, and be kind but be honest if you decide you want to leave a review.

Reviews

[slfisher89]

Nice use of similes, like using storm to show confusion and anger in the speaker. Like the "tat.. tat" sound; can picture a long older man's hand tapping a window. The part about the man gave me a Edgar Allan Poe vibe. The construction o f the stanzas give a disconnected feel; which reflect the speaker's mindset. You repeat had twice in the last stanza; not sure if it was intentional. Good job

[Andrew M Parker]

Yes, it was intentional, the "had had." It makes sense to read it that way but maybe I will change it so it is easier to understand. Am proud that my work reminds someone of Poe. He has done an outstanding job in the world of written art.

[Andrew M Parker]

The odd spacing and "t Hen" instead of "then" was also intentional if you happened to notice them.

[slfisher89]

I did and figured that; maybe add ellipses between the two had.it only caught my eye because a lot of books have that publishing error

[Steve Ryan]

This poem is chaotic like the storm it portrays; I certainly feel a paranoia in even the calm "stillpoint," as Eliot would say.

[Andrew M Parker]

Hmm, thank you.