Emotional Suicide

I wrote this for the "Cry me a river" contest

Please No CSS

While the everlasting sleep slips into my bed

 These images slowly find their way into my head

 For the very last time where in my dreams I can hide

Welcome to my beautiful suicide

 

Here's to the death of all dreams from the days gone past

To all things that will wilt and were never meant to last

When I Water them raw in acid rain

They will burn a hole that starts in my brain

 

And slowly works its way into my heart

Burns What little is left of what’s now torn apart

There in cold and empty chamber number two

Is where I kept the hopes and dreams i had for you

 

 Echoes of your name bounce into chamber number one

Where joyous laughter used to live but now is gone

You were once my saving grace and my life raft

But Today I found your smile in a photograph

 

Still protecting you I shielded you

From the rain of tears

By Holding you at arms length

As you did to me for years

 

Never letting me in for fear that it might be real

Afraid, I suppose, that from your heart I might steal

Never again will I allow my love to be shared

I will destroy all signs that say to all I ever dared

 

In Empty fields of wind and ice

that's were my heart now will reside

Welcome to you all

To my emotional suicide

 

Reviews

[justjenn_2u]

This poem is very deep and self absorbed, filled with the agony of a love that broke the inner spirit.

The symbolism used throughout the entire poem is magnificent. To journey through the chambers of love, I am able to see how one loves and the other will not allow herself to be loved.

Very powerful piece!

[Spoken]

Great flow throughout. Your descriptions pull the reader into your beautiful suicide making them feel the pain and torment. Well done.

[Dani California]

Ouch. OUCH!!!!

ML.. you really packed an emotional punch with this .. oh my...

I'm going to stop saying that this is my favorite of all, because with each new
piece of yours that I read, that seems to be the case. You just keep getting
better and better... you drew me in and spit me out with this one!

Well done!!!!!

[Windy]

Wow, majorly depressing!! but then I think it was supposed to be was it not? Still an amazing write, your flow, rhyme and imagery were wonderful, the format and font even added that extra bit of ooph though the write could have stood on it's own I am sure. A very sad, vulnerable poem, I hope you did well in the contest because this is definatly a "winner'. Kuddos my friend.

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Wow! Very emotional indeed. I'm glad you did warn me, no, lol. again, another one of your works stripped raw and full of pure honesty from your heart.

my fav line:

"When I Water them raw in acid rain

They will burn a hole that starts in my brain"

Yes! awesome metaphor. loved it.

[.::Cup^E^Cake*RaWr!*::.]

This is so sad but it's very well written!
I couldn't have said it better!
Your work with words is amazing & the flow is really good!
Great write!!

[The Tao of Bri]

This is such a sad poem of complete surrender to loss. I felt it very accutely and the power of this melancholy resonates still after the second reading of this. I actually read it once before you sent me this, but was so overcome by its meaning adn the finality I feel in my own life that I had to let it sit for awhile before I could comment. That is a sign of a true outpouring poem at greatness. I am sorry that the conditions of life have led you here, that never haunts your dreams as well. I have yet to post anything like this, though some of my own dark poetry is a sullen as this. Your bravery has inspred me and perhaps I too shall be able to share this inner cracking of the core from life's tragedy as well. PEace and LLight in the darkness.

[LadyLove]

Nice...I especially like the next to last stanza. That says a lot! You say to the world that you have been burned by love and yet it was so deep that it hurt to not have as you wanted it. So you burn all evidence to anyone that you ever did. But you know how much you did and try to burn it away...but you can't. Still too precious what you had. Good one. Peace to you.

[Beka]

While I read this I felt the blood in my head pulse.
My heart strings tightened.
It was painful.
It was terrifying.
I felt so full.
Like I wasn't able to talk to anyone about anything for fear of showing weakness.
Like I'm screaming as loud as I can.
Hoping no one can hear me.
But at the same time I was hoping someone did hear.
And that they could understand.
It hurt...But it was so well written.
Beauty in the heartbreak.

[octane143]

So very descriptive. So bring me in and not only can I relate but I can feel your pain, regret and most of all your loss.
Here is to the death of all dreams of days past

To all things that wilt and were not meant to last

When I Water them in acid rain

They will burn a hole that starts in my brain


This beautiful poem has burnt a hole in my head and in my heart. Absolutely beautiful and stirring. You never cease to amaze me!

[danyy]

this poem is amazing, i really love it.
very well writttten:]