I guess we all do plant a tree in our own way. As some people before me said, I think you should work on the flow a bit more (reading out loud) but I understand, its hard to do in poems because of syllables and all.
I suppose there are people who are happy and then there are those who are happy because of introspection and observation and analysis. Good to see your questioning and thinking :).
You did a good job relaying the torment one may feel in this piece. Wanting so badly to live and yet unable to stop turning and looking at the past.
Now I can't turn my back
To what's right
And I won't
To the light
She waits for me
I wasn't sure if "she" was here and in the physical or if "she's " passed on. "To the light" could reference God and keeping faith in His plan, or that your staying faithful to a promise to her that even surpasses death.
Nice work!
I guess we all do plant a tree in our own way. As some people before me said, I think you should work on the flow a bit more (reading out loud) but I understand, its hard to do in poems because of syllables and all.
I suppose there are people who are happy and then there are those who are happy because of introspection and observation and analysis. Good to see your questioning and thinking :).
The fact that I am a big time dreamer gives this poem even greater quality to me than it already holds... which is a lot.
To dream... is to be. Without our dreams we have nothing but what is force fed to us.... whether we like how it tastes or not. I cannot imagine living a dream free existence. What a horrifying thought.
Now I can't turn my back
To what's right
And I won't
To the light
She waits for me
i love how much lust for peace is within this poem. i really love it. great work of art. the flow needs a little more work, but what am i to say, i still love it, the poem does flow very well, but in parts it doesnt do it. regaurdless, its a wonderful piece.
how beautiful it is to have one wait for you as life works out its miracles.. Beautiful write that seems to be a tribute that is so richly deserved! May itBe
Well, I really like it, and am very amused by the rhyming (sorry, my spelling to day is very bad,lol). it is different in my eyes for some odd reason. All the same, it is a very nice piece of work, that has a good strong message, very nice job.
...At some point in time, we must allow ourselves to think we deserve the good things in life, peace, a spouse, love..and from that abundance of love, to give to our brothers and sisters ..
We are all children of God and He gives us a new life when we walk in him, all old things are gone, and he has made everything new.. in you.
Beautiful, hopeful write.
the whole poem is great there is not just one part that i like...this is so loving and caring, just for the life that you seem to want to indore, your a great writer keep up the good work...i will read you others to i promis you great peace.
I was born in Texas October of 1966. Raised in California where i fell in love with music and art. I came from a large , poor family where the most valuable thing we ownwed was our love for each other.. more..