Chapter Five

Kenny gets life changing news about his health while being forced to face his impending destiny and begins to uncover for information on who the guy is that protects him.

A Protector’s Rescue

      The days were becoming shorter and colder the closer it got to Halloween and the middle of the month saw its hot and cold days. San Francisco fog rolled in every evening while the sun was setting and stayed all night until lunchtime the next day. Rain started becoming a little more spaced out between the days until stopping completely for the rest of the month. The day Kenny and Tonya sat in the lobby of Berkeley Free Clinic was an irritating bright and sunny one to him.

      Anxiety stole his voice when he tried to answer Tonya’s basic questions about the last time he was tested or how many partners had it had. He knew the answers quite well but was just so focused on calming his kicking heart that he just shrugged and avoided eye contact. It seemed like Tonya didn’t even waste time putting on clothes once she got Kenny’s call to meet her here and it was urgent. She had on her Hello Kitty silk pajamas with a matching clip on tops and her hair as wrapped up in a flowery bandana. She had begun babbling on about how Junior was still giving everybody the silent treatment and blaming it on grading papers when the door to the left swung open.

      “Kenneth Whitley!” the same short female nurse croaked making Kenny wince at the hearing of his own name.

      He stood up and didn’t even bother to correct anyone with Tonya trailing behind him but was abruptly stopped by the nurse’s arm.

      “I’m sorry ma’am but due to patient-”

      “I give my permission or however this works but I need her with me!”

      “I’m sorry sir but Ryan White-”

      “Then tell me the results right here then!”

      The nurse looked agitatedly around at the semi-crowded room and took a deep huff and let Tonya pass. They were seated in the first exam room before the nurse shut the door behind her without any word. Tonya sat against her friend’s legs who was on the examining chair with wax paper against the back. Kenny’s leg nervously bounced up and down even while his friend was rubbing it gently. There was a small barred window by the doctor’s computer and counter full of jars with cotton balls, wooden sticks and alcohol wipes. He was thinking how fast he could escape from this room before the doctor entered.

      “Ken-doll, you’re going to be okay.”

      Kenny scoffed and peered over.

      “That’s ironic, I told Teddy the same thing in this same building.”

      Tonya sighed.

      “It’s probably just a routine procedure, maybe?”

      “They told me a week, Tonya. One week. But they called me back in two days. That’s not a good sign in any situation.”

      The only thing they could hear at the moment were the clicks of heels walking back and forth by the door. Folders could be heard being sifted from the doors or placed there while Tonya played with the blood pressure cuffs as Kenny stared nervously out the window. His heart was kicking at this throat again and his mind was swimming a thousand miles an hour.

      He had to get out this room now.

      But there came two soft knocks before the door opened to a female doctor with piercing blue eyes, full shoulder length brunette hair flowing over her shoulders came clicking in with an orange folder under her arm, introducing herself as Doctor Alcouloumre or simply just Doctor A., and taking a seat.

      “Kenneth or do you prefer Kenny? I ask because I have a nephew with the same name and he despises the name Kenneth.” Doctor A. giggled cutely to which Tonya gave a polite smile.

      “Kenny is fine. Thanks.”

      The beautiful doctor opened the orange folder and glanced over a few pages, lifting some up to cross examine other information.

      “Okay Kenny,” she said looking up with a smile, “Who is your friend?”

      “Tonya,” she spoke for herself with a matter of fact tone, “We have been friends since high school.”

      “That’s great to have such a long term friend who by the look of her being here that she is a great support as well.”

      “Yes, she is.” Tonya beamed and rested her arm against Kenny’s leg. The doctor held her smile and returned to the folder before Kenny saw the smile completely fade and a heavy sigh escaped.

      “Kenny, there really is no easy way to tell you this,” She met his eyes with sorrow, “But you’re test results came back positive for the HIV antibody. Do you have any idea where you could’ve contracted it from?”

      A train had just crashed into the side of Kenny’s forehead. He couldn’t see for a brief moment and a small electric impulse skipped over his heart. Tonya was looking for an answer in Kenny’s eyes but he wasn’t aware of anything going on. He flustered around and looked at the doctor in confusion.

      “What did you just…?”

      “Do you have any idea how you contacted the HIV virus?” she asked gently.

      “Wait-how-huh? I can’t really, um, think. Let me see, well, from sex. Couldn’t be any other way.” Kenny baffled on, glancing over at Tonya’s mortified face and quickly back at the beautiful doctor’s gentle expression.

      “Kenny, you know this is no longer considered a death sentence. There are drugs out there to bring your t-cell count high and your viral load undetectable. Look at Magic Johnson.”

      “He’s also rich,” Tonya muttered under her breath.

      “I don’t understand, I get tested every six months. I just got a damn test at the beginning of the year!”

      Doctor A. glanced back over at the folder.

      “Your labs tell me by the numbers that it’s around this six month period that you contacted it. How many partners has it been, if you don’t mind me asking?”

      “Two,” Kenny stated automatically, recounting the two men he slept with condomless; William, of course, and a guy named Dax or Dex or Derrick. It was saved in his cell phone somewhere. His mind was crying right now but his face was pure confusion.

      “Well, what I am going to do is start you on Atripla for thirty days, it’s a new HIV antiretroviral medication, and refer you to Alta Bates AIDS Center to start with a primary care doctor since I see you listed uninsured. The nurse will bring in some papers explaining the ADAPT plan to get you covered for your medications.” Doctor A. stood and smiled sweetly, “Good luck.”

      And she was out the door in less than a second.

 

      William had just pulled up to a parking spot in front of the building as Tonya and Kenny exited sullenly in each other’s arms. Tonya kissed him on his cheek and they parted once Kenny got into the gas guzzler as he called it a few times. William smiled and rubbed Kenny’s leg but saw that he was in no mood.

      “You alright, Ken?”

      Kenny sat and didn’t move or motion to answer. His eyes were fixed on the spider that was crawling up the tree next to his window.

      “You going to tell me what happened in there or make me think the worse?”

      “The worse would be correct.”

      William nervously laughed but retracted once Kenny made no movement still. The football player looked his lover up and down before hesitantly repositioning his body to face forward. He didn’t speak the whole ride back to the house on Forty Fourth Street. Kenny could feel the resentment building in William but he was making every attempt to hide it.

      They sat idle in front of the house for long silent moments before any made any movement. Kenny had unbuckled his seat belt when William placed the truck back in drive but didn’t move.

      “You’re not coming in?” Kenny asked with a tremble in his voice. William just shook his head and avoided his attention.

      “I’ll be back later.”

      Kenny hissed and slammed the door shut hard as it screeched away around the back street of Forty-Third Street and then out of sight. The sun was shining overhead without a cloud of relief on top of a depressed man standing in the middle of his freshly mowed lawn that Shawn had paid a gardener to do. He noticed his car was still gone and the house across the street was still abandoned.

      After a trip to the corner store and to Jack in the Box around the corner, Kenny broke into the back of the abandoned house and found a spot in the farthest corner of the kitchen and ate his Jumbo Jack with cheese combo that came with curly fries and a large drink. After a few minutes of stuffing the food down his mouth, he pulled out sleeping pills from a black bag in his pants pocket.

      Once he had consumed twelve pills washed down with a watered down Root Beer, he was prepared to go back to the acid rain and just dance wildly in it. But as darkness overcame him and sleep consumed his body, he didn’t appear in the land of corroded jungle vines.

      He was stuck in the void of darkness that he fell into a fit of crying in. This wasn’t how he wanted to go out and it freaked him out more than anything. Not being able to see what’s in the darkness around you. What could be eyeing you from behind the black veil was what was running through Kenny’s mind.

      Then sadness took him first. Tears fell freely while the pain sparked into deep anger at himself. He blamed his foolish decisions to sleep without a condom on his eminent death to come. No one would be there for him. No one would want him. A scarlet letter was permanently painted on his body.

      “Kill yourself!” Snaked the eerie echoing undertones of many angered voices. There was a sinister hiss of their whispers in Kenny’s ears. He thought at that moment it was the best idea he heard all day and a small reflection caught his eye to the ground. The shiny blade sparkled at his feet.

      “Do it quick. End your worthless f*****g life!”

      “It is isn’t it? Worthless?” Kenny wondered as he picked up the blade and examined its brightness.

      “You dirty disgusting piece of s**t! Slit the neck and spill it out!”

      And without any hesitation, against any good judgment he had left, he pressed the blade against his neck and slashed.

      In a blink, he realized he was struggling to breath in the kitchen of the abandoned house. He tried to cover his bleeding neck but searing pain ate through his wrist and to his horror, they had been slit too. Blood flowing out like a warm stream down his arms and collecting under him. A pool of his own pool was staining his jean pants and gushes of it splattered like he was being brutally murdered. His body collapsed and began to violently shake as he lay dying in suffocation and loss of blood. Coldness was all he was feeling everywhere on his body, and with one last twisted jerk, his body gave out.

      Just as life was creeping past Kenny, he felt a rush of warm air and before he took one last suffocated gulp, he got a waft of lilac and lavender.

      “Kenny, hold on. Don’t give up.”

      And from what sounded like enrapturing soft whistles, a small pulsating energy of flame warped around and through Kenny’s veins from the top and bottom of his body as Christian knelt on his knees in the crimson puddle and gently scooped his illuminating body up. The fiery glow coursed towards the heart, healing the neck (but the wrist only into scars) as it passed and meeting together at the heart. A powerful jet of golden white light ejected out of Kenny’s body as he suddenly sat up, began to vomit blood and aggressively gasping for air, tearing a piece of Christian’s shirt in the process. The glowing dimmed out back to the natural light shining from the windows.

      “You’re okay, man. Just breathe slowly. Breathe.” Christian coached as he lifted with his knees and laid him on the counter. After he controlled his breathing, Kenny immediately hugged the tall protector and wept deeply into his shoulder. Christian shut his eyes while he rested his chin on the top of Kenny’s head as they clutched ahold of each other for a long while.

      “Please don’t ever leave again.” Sniffle.

      “I promise.” Christian broke the hold and examined Kenny’s wrist, which caused a sharp pain, “Let’s get you to the hospital and rehydrated.”

 

      An hour had passed by before Kenny was admitted under suicide watch and psych evaluation in Alta Bates Hospital in downtown Oakland, which would happen the next day. He was dressed in a hospital gown with blue vertical stripes and had a tube of silver liquid connected to his arm with both wrist bandaged. Christian sat at the edge of the bed and leaned against it. He still had a wrinkle of fear on his face as he looked up at Kenny, who was smiling down at him.

      “What are you thinking?” Christian inquired gently.

      “How important you are to me now,” Kenny brushed the side of his protector’s face, “Thank you for saving my life. It was a horrific nightmare that just finally overtook me. I would’ve died there if it wasn’t for you.”

      Christian waved him away with a blush.

      “It’s my job, it’s what I do.”

      “Where did you go anyways?”

      “It’s a complicated story.”

      Kenny laid back and rested his head.

      “There’s always something complicated with you.”

      “Enough about me, how do you feel?”

      Kenny shrugged.

      “Better, I guess that I am still alive. Still bummed about the other thing.”

      “What other thing?”

      The thought that Christian had automatically knew everything about Kenny was what he assumed was the case. But then again, he just found out himself and he did not have the stability to be rejected twice in one day. It was his turn to show fear in his face.

      “No, no, no,” Christian ordered, “Don’t do that to me Kenny. What other thing are you talking about? I am not going to leave your side, ever. Hasn’t that been apparent enough? D****t, I am your Protector.”

      He said the last part in a hush.

      “I am positive, Christian. You know, HIV positive. I’d figure there’d be no use hiding it once they return will all the labs they ran on me. It just gave me time to find the right words.”

      The tall protector sat up and never looked away from Kenny’s vulnerable eyes.

      “Is this why you tried to off yourself?”

      “In a way, I honestly didn’t mean to slit my body up. I wanted to appear back in that other world with the acid rain and dance around in it until I melted away. But I was overtaken by a sudden nightmare with a black void of sadness and loneliness whispering to me to ‘Do it’ and ‘Kill myself’. Who says ‘off yourself’ anymore anyways?”

      Silence fell over the two before Christian grabbed his hand and held it. An electric impulse passed through Kenny in an instant, making his heart flutter.

      “You are never alone in this, you got it?”

      He was yet again at a loss for words because of this man he had just met. This is what he wanted William to say to him the last six years. These exact words. But before he had the chance to answer; Jerry, Tonya, Theodore and Shawn barged through the almost closed door. They all stopped in awe at the smiling/ hand holding scene they were witnessing.

      “So did you fake attempted suicide to get a man?” Teddy was the first to question.

      “That’s the guy…” Shawn murmured and they all collectively ‘Ooh’ with smiles themselves. Kenny and Christian quickly broke their hold as the latter stood to his feet.

      “Andre Archer, but I prefer my friends call me Christian.” He shook hands with everyone as they introduced themselves, except for Shawn.

      “You hear that, we are his friends?” Tonya gawked and winked at Kenny then suddenly gasped, “Oh Ken-Doll!” She ran into a hug that Kenny wasn’t prepared for at all.

      “Are you okay? What are you feeling? Why in the f**k would you try something like this?” Shawn bellowed in a hug. Teddy cried moving over to give his hug and Jerry finished the group hug with Kenny barely being able to see.

      “Should I leave?” Christian asked, trying to tip-tie away but the room collectively yelled for him to stay, breaking up the hug. Kenny asked where Junior was but no one knew. Tonya had left a voicemail before dashing over to the hospital but she hadn’t received a response yet. A sigh and a smacked lip was heard and Shawn slammed into the seat next to the bed, had whipped out his phone to start yelling when the door flew open again and in sprinted Junior, sweating and panting.

      “What is…are you…I just ran…straight from…all the way…work…you.” He yanked Kenny from Tonya’s snuggle and hugged him tighter than anyone did.

      “Junior, sweetie, I can’t breathe.”

      He broke off the hug, still panting and dejectedly looked around the room. Shawn had pulled out a crossword book and was writing in pen while Christian was still standing by Kenny’s feet. Teddy and Jerry had perched themselves on the large hospital window and Tonya was lying in bed, back to snuggling with Kenny. He apologized to the entire room, save Christian who had taken a seat against his Custody’s feet. Everyone lazily accepted his apology and demanded him to seat down.

      Shawn had placed down his book and repeated his question once it had become entirely too silent for him.

      “Why did you do this to yourself?” He lifted a wrist and dropped it like it was infected.

      Kenny had been resting his eyes and listening to the soft sounds of movement before the question broke him out his trance. He felt Tonya squeeze his shoulder that somehow gave him a little more courage.

      “There’s no way to beat around the bush on this so, here it is: I am HIV Positive. Found out this morning.”

      Teddy gasped sharply.

      “What?” Junior guiltily snapped.

      “I went with Kenny to get tested after we talked that night at the party. I figured since I had received my call that everything was clear, the same was for him as well.”

      “Teddy, it’s my fault this happened anyways.”

      The room went into an uproar.

      “This is not your fault!” Jerry.

      “The mother f****r who infected you should be arrested!” Shawn.

      “Don’t ever blame yourself, man!” Christian.

      “Are you kidding me with that right now?” Tonya.

      “No, no, no, no, no.” Teddy.

      “Can everybody please shut up?!” Junior.

      A sudden quietness blanketed the room as all eyes fell on Junior. He had started by stating about all the research he has been doing since the night of the party and felt bad for his views. He didn’t see Kenny as a hoe and definitely didn’t see it as his fault at all. Once he finished talking, everyone broke into a soft conversation with each other.

      Most of it was interrogating Christian and his role in everything. Kenny just interjected that he had been in the right place at the right time, to which no one bought. Hours had went by, thunder clouds rolled in, food and laughter had been shared and then the door burst open for a third time.

      William stood in slacks and a button up, chain laced boots, staring horrifically at Kenny and then around the room. When his eyes met Christian, who had sprung to his feet at the opening of the door, the two locked in a deathly stare.

      “Kenny, who is this?” Christian growled, not taking his attention from his now marked enemy. The tension had caused alarm to spread around everyone’s face but Shawn, who was still deep in his crossword.

      “This is William, my um…”

      William broke his attention and snarled angrily at him.

      “You didn’t forget who I was to you when I was f*****g you!”

      “I’d back down if I were you real quick, man.” Christian’s voice became deadly.

      “Who are you?” William vindictively snorted, “And why do you smell like a dirty wet barking dog?”

      Kenny saw Christian’s fist tighten firmly when rudely William yelled at everyone,

      “Everyone OUT!”

      But no one moved except paid him with the most bewildered look until Kenny gently asked and all except for Shawn and Christian reluctantly left.

      “Shawn, get out!” William barked causing Shawn to place down his pen but did not look up.

      “Over my f*****g dead body.” And went back to scribbling in the book. William enraged and frustrated glared between Kenny and Christian.

      “So where’d you pick this one up at?” He snapped at Kenny, “I knew that you had always had the hoe in you. My dick was never big enough for such an open hole-”

      Christian had sprung across the bed and slammed William into the wall with such force from his body that it rattled every equipment in the room.

      “Try that again, jackass.” His voice a deep hostile hiss, his hands smashing against William’s face and throat, “Nothing is stopping me from bashing your s****y a*s head in and watching what lack of brains you have just fall out.”

      “Christian, stop, please!” Kenny had gotten out of bed the moment he felt a rush of wind fly past him. His pleading voice caused his protector to bitterly loosen his grip but not his hold. He saw Kenny was clutching the IV rod and Shawn had rushed over to support him instead. William broke his aggressor off and rubbed the back of his head, lightly gasping for air. Nurses had rushed in at the commotion and one nurse ushered Kenny back in bed with Shawn going back to his seat eyeing William.

      “You will regret you ever did this to me.” He threatened to Kenny, who inhaled at the fear that shot through him, while William left with a loud slam. When the others came rushing back in, Kenny just rested his head back against the pillow and shut his eyes from the world around him.

      But he never suffered that nightmare ever again.