Jungle Psychology.

Laos 72

Keep your head down if you want it shot off,

Cross fire is death waiting behind one of them,

Keep your head below the fire line.

Shadows can not move on their own!

Keep your head before something happens,

A heavy foot, a wire,

Death is waiting behind one of them.

Keep your head down,

Stars and bars,

Snipers best friend!

Death is waiting,

in the tree?

bush?

Keep your head straight,

hair trigger,

tense nerves,

how to keep my head?

How to not loose it?

Maybe,

maybe,

Death ain't packing!

Keep your head high,

steal, iron and wood in your hand.

How fast can they run,

not as fast as my friends can.



I kept my head.......................

he didn't...

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

there is an intensity to the flow of this one.. it is face-paced and keeps the reader's attention captivated.. anxiously awaiting what will happen next... the ending is a slap of raw reality that hits hard.. I like the short, concise lines--they add to the intensity and the power driving the piece.. you can feel the nerves... the anxiety.. the adrenaline coursing... nicely done...

one question...

(Keep your head down if you want it shot off,)... did you mean if you (don't) want it shot off?... or "unless you want it shot off"?.. I dunno, just made me stumble..

[AprilRN1210]

oh, and the video wouldn't play for me :(

[writing mojo]

a pin point direction of the instinctual shooting fight or flight at shadows roomed..good piece

[nigrum homonculus]

this reminds me when the punisher went to Vietnam in his comics. i really like it. here's the comic pictures i was talking about http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IbitVPIRwc

[Monica-Antoinetta-Magda..]

I really enjoy your imager here, though I am the last person to claim any knowledge or talent on how poems work. I found that the different lengths of the lines allows for a sense of urgency and haste for the audience. I think that capturing the pulling the audience into a world is one of the amazing results of writing, and you’ve done this really well. I enjoyed reading it (:

[Deandra Dawn]

Great imagery....good job. I agree with Muse as well, it is kind of like a warning....you always have to watch and be prepared.

[Muse]

your friend lost his head...a bit amusing, but also dark. It's almost a warning to walk straight..talk straight, but watch out for the cross fire, there's always somebody trying to take you down.

[Kuhr Gred]

wow! feel like in the jungle.. haha sometimes wild :) GREAT WRITE! keep it up ;)