Are you stupid or something?

The further adventures of Ben Butler, an idiot with a dream.

"But baby, your gonna get hurt!" Brenda pleaded with Ben as he paced back and forth on the side of the house, "he's gonna be fine!" Kevin blurted out after taking a swig of a bottle in a brown bag, "he's gonna get killed! Those guys are animals! Baby, your gonna get hurt!". Ben held his index finger in the air to command silence, going over the mental check list.
David Lee Roth wrist ban? Check
Super High-tops with three inch lift? Check
Kamikaze Levi Jeans-black of course? Check
Def Leppard Black Tank Top? Chec-F****N-K
"Lets do some back yard wrestling!" Ben ran screaming from the side of the house into the back yard where a large group of 13 yr old boys were cheering as a small Ginger haired boy leg dropped another boy on the grass. "YAY!! IM LOOKIN, FOR A BOY BY THE NAME OF CHARLIE OR CHARLIES LEMON!" Ben stood slightly taller then most of the boys who all stopped cheering to look at the strange man with a black mullet with mutton chop side burns.

"DID ANY OF YOU HEAR ME, I AM LOOKING FOR THE YOUNG MAN, WHO CLAIMS MY GIRLFRIEND SMELLS LIKE  CHEESE! AND HAD THE NERVE TO INSCRIBE, THIS TERRIBLE LIE, ON THE STALL OF THE MENS ROOM AT CHUCKIE CHEESE, I DEMAND SATISFACTION!" All the boys looked at one another, some laughing, other scratching their heads! "You can take em' Benny." Kevin exclaimed as he took another slug from his brown bagged booze. "No Baby, it was just a joke, your gonna get hurt!" Brenda ran over to Ben pleading with him, "But Baby, one of these scoundrels insulted you, and I demands satisfaction." He turned away from her pointing his fingers at the boys.

"IF CHARLIE, OR CHARLES depending on what he likes to be called, cause some people don't like how there names sounds-" Ben began to ramble when Kevin tripping over his own feet reminded him. "Ben, Satisfaction" "YEAH, IF HE DOES NOT PRESENT HIMSELF, THAN I WILL START KICKING SOME 7TH GRADE BUTT(holding his left hand) I CALL THIS ONE, 'THUNDER MAKER, AND THIS ONE, THE ATOM BOMB!" Brenda began shaking her head out of complete embarrassment, "SO WHO WANTS THE THUNDER?"
It was than a towering ginger giant was making his way drinking a soda and holding a comic book. "Hey Charlie, that guy said he wants to kick your a*s!" a small boy said, "Who?" his voice sounded like a fog horn. All the boys in the back yard pointed to Ben, who's eyes grew at the size of the ginger boy. "ARE YOU THE ONE, WHO INSULT MY GIRL? I DEMAND SATISFACTION!" Ben ran screaming towards the ginger giant, his arms swinging violently, and with one right hook Ben was knocked clear across the back yard. The boys cheered as Ben landed right into the wooden fence, Kevin crawled over to Ben holding the bottle under his nose to revive him. "Ben, you alive?" Kevin exhaled his light smoke into Ben's face to see if he was breathing. Brenda ran over to Ben laying against the fence, "Baby, did he make you retarded?" She shook Ben awake "I think i can still take him", he coughed out.
Ben got to his feet to watch the boys patting the Ginger giant on his back, "Hey, I demand satisfaction!! Ahhh!" Ben charged him again, only to be knocked down again. And again Ben got to his feet and again he was beaten down to the ground. On the ground black and blue, all of a sudden the kids scrambled running all over the yard, jumping fences and yelling 'later' to one another. "Charles Gunther Lemon, what kind of how-do-you-do-mr,-lookie-loo- is going on back hear! Hi, Im Linda, Linda Lemon, Charlies Mom, oh, by howdy-do-what-happened to you?"
The lanky red-headed woman, with thick glass in a blue K-mart sweater was looking down on Ben smiling. "Charlie plays kind of rough, but howdy-do he's a sweet boy!" Brenda and an intoxicated Kevin picked up a swollen faced Ben, "YOU SOON TURNED MY BABY INTO A VEGETABLE!" Brenda cried, "ALL CAUSE YOUR KID WROTE SOMETHING AT CHUCKIE  CHEESE!" Charlies mom, shook her had, "Nope, no sorry-r-bobbie i never let my son go to those places, not good for a growing boy, there's a 'Charles Lemon' three blocks down, but thats not my boy." She said smiling, Ben shook Brenda's shoulder, "Baby, did I get you satisfaction?"
 

Reviews

[Kuhr Gred]

it is comedy.. i like it.. GREAT WRITE :)

[Kiara]

I really like these stories :) They make me smile

[Scarlet]

Okay off the toppa my head, I liked the way Linda Lemon spoke :D That was surprise! But fave lines : I CALL THIS ONE, 'THUNDER MAKER, AND THIS ONE, THE ATOM BOMB!" Brenda began shaking her head out of complete embarrassment, "SO WHO WANTS THE THUNDER?"
Few spelling mistakes, not sure if on purpose or not, but otherwise Hilarious, really funny :) Keep typing!
(I'll have the recipe now)