An Act of Total Stupidity

Defending ends in physical rehab

Ben Butler ran up and down the stairs in the apartment building fists clenched, only stopping to admire his black mullet in the mirror in the base of the stairs.  Looking in his reflection he went over a check list in his mind.
David Lee Roth wrist ban? Check
Super High-tops with three inch lift? Check
Kamikaze Levi Jeans-black of course? Check
Def Leppard Black Tank Top? Chec-F****N-K

He opened the door to the building and started running around in schools, "YEA, I LOVE YOU BRENDA!" Ben yelled as he started to shadow box in front of a phone booth, "I'M DEFENDING THE HONOR OF MY WOMAN!" he shouted to an elderly lady on the phone, "this little man is shouting Margret, what an A*s-hole!" Ben jumped on the side walk as he was working himself into a frenzy, "You can do it buddy, I believe in you!" Ben stopped his heavy breathing and jumping, "are you saying I'm afraid!" he said in a low tone voice, "THAT MAN HAS DISRESPECTED MY LADY! I DEMAND SATISFACTION!" Ben's friend cheered him as he marched into the apartment.

"J-9! I'M COMING, AND I DEMAND SATISFACTION! AHHHH!" Ben roared as he ran up the flights of the apartment building, the first five flights he ran like an Olympic athlete. As the flights grew his steps became heavier and heavier. Finally reaching the 10th floor, Ben worked himself back into his rage fueled rampage. "J-9, I DEMAND YOU COME OUT AND APOLOGIZE TO ME, TO MY BABY OR I'LL KICK YOUR A*S!" the threat echoed down the hallway until a door finally opened. "Baby, your gonna get hurt." Brenda yelled as she came running from the stairs, "But baby, its your honer, IM COMIN!" Ben yelled as he ran down the hall way and right into a larger lumbering man.

"ARE YOU THE MAN, WHO STOLE MY BABY'S DRYER IN THE BASEMENT?!" He said shouting three feet up, the lumbering man looked down with a blank stare, "SIR, I DEMAND SATISFACTION!" and with a mighty swing, Ben managed to brush the nose of the slight giant. Than completely missing his second swing, the large man knocked Ben across the hallway. Landing painfully on the floor, Ben muttered, "he's tougher than he looks." Brenda screaming in horror, "BEN! ARE YOU DEAD? BEN! STAY DOWN!", seeing him stumble back to his feet he check his Def Leppard shirt for damage, "Ben, his ankle is as big as your chest, stay down!"

"BABY, I LOVE YOU, SIR!" the lumbering man slowly returning to his apartment, turned around to see a tiny little punk rocker Ben running at him. "I DEMAND SATISFACTION!" Slamming into the man and back onto the floor, "i think i know whats wrong, he's not wearing shoes." Bruised, dazed and out of breath, Ben jumped to his feet to surprised the man only to be swatted down again. Brenda looked at the large man, "Oh my God baby, thats not the guy, do you live in J-6?" the giant pointed to his apartment number "J-9". "Baby you got the wrong apartment number, you know it might have been 'I-9' i wasn't really paying attention.

"But i got satisfaction? right?" Ben said grasping for air on the floor, "Does he need an EMT, i think something snapped the last time he hit the floor" the big man said pointing down at Ben. "Oh god no, are you kidding me, we would loose our lease, Ben, come on get up, well take the elevator down." The big man picked Ben up and put him in a shopping cart, as Brenda wheeled him to the elevator, "We still need to see if it was that a*s hole in I-9 who took my towels out of the dryer, good some people just love to start s**t for no reason, baby, you need to try to not breath so hard."

the end
 

Author's Note

this is one of those things I didn't write for anyone but more for myself.

Reviews

[GunMetal]

Punk to the core! I enjoyed this immensely. Furious like a one-armed drummer :D

[Monica-Antoinetta-Magda..]

hahaha you had me at the title! very, very awesome (:

[SUGATA M]

Perfect plot for a Rohit Shetty film, contact him man, he is looking for a story

[reflectingus]

Hahah I love this. Characterization is pretty strong, enjoyed the dialogues, and oh, the irony in the end lol. Definitely entertaining, I was hooked on till the end, great job.

[MOON]

Brenda is a scream , lovely funny write.

[Kuhr Gred]

"YEA, I LOVE YOU BRENDA!" Ben yelled as he started to shadow box - i like this line.. haha makes me laughed.. i like it.. so much.. thanks for sharing
- Kuhr Gred

[Kiara]

I loved it :)

[Stormbringer]

Certainly a good laugh - first thing in this competition that literally made me chuckle over here. The things that are written for one's own entertainment are usually quite good if you have anything like the author's sense of humor. Sure, the language standards could be upgraded, but the core is nice and funny. And I like the part where it's the wrong guy, but Ben still "got satisfaction".

[darkness*star1985]

LOL that is awesome, too funny, an it would be something i would do completely, excellent write dear, you are a good writer i wish you write more. its a good outlet to use when it comes to what is inside ones head. GREAT JOB!!!!!! can't wait to read more stuff from you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!