How not to lie

Your pants are on fire

Here is one of those facts in life that don't actually make us think bad but tend think worse of. When you take into account ever single person you have ever met, long term or s**t, each and every single person you know from the time you were a kid well into adulthood is guilty of, Lying. It can be brushed off with a song about a parking ticket, but the fact is we all have lied once in a while. You know what a 'Lie' is, it is statement that it totally false and can sometimes bring about uprisings, boycotts and sometime one or six dozen if you open your history books to the early 19th century France will know that sometimes a lie can over throw a King or corner store or make a person looks totally dumb. So let me set out a small but known little lie.

"Where did you get this pen, because let me tell you I like this pen it really is a very nice pen. So smooth when you write with it feels nice, it really is a nice. If you don't mind me asking if you remember the name of the store?"


Who hasn't stolen a pen? It's not a flat screen or a diamond ring, it's a pen. Small it won't be missed, no one is going to loose their house over one pen. How simple is it to click the pen, write something out, than another click and a natural move to the left breast pocket in your jacket or on your shirt.  It is just one of those things that happens, like I said, no one is gonna loose their job or anything, it will just be replaced.

I use that as an example of something everyone has done at least once in their lives, just like lying; "The car wouldn't start, I sent the check in are you sure you didn't get it, it wasn't me, don't worry men air support is coming." All lies, from a 7-11 employee to a Captain of Marines pinned down.  People lie we all know it and most people including myself don't really care until it effects us. But there are those times that another person's lie can slap you across the face like a rubber hose.  When it effects your work or household, it is a dangerous and often over worrisome problem. I am sure more than a fair share of public figures have lied to wiggle out of trouble, Cleisthenes to Obama, and yes even noted celebrities and journalist have been known to twist a fact or two.

Some people just have a gift to shift a fact and spin it into fiction, lawyers, statesmen and real estate agents come to mind. However, there is a way to spin a lie to a profit but there is the equal chance of failure. It must be measured. If you consider it, what really is a lie? A lack of fact, an image of this or that? No a lie is what a broker says on the phone when you hear, "trust me I can make you a lot of money".  A lie can only be exploited if the listener is hearing the story, or as the quote goes, "A guy don't walk on the lot lest he want's to buy." And some people can tell brilliant lies, let's be honest and take a look at that strange truth is more screwed up than imagination, but at least in imagination can bring you some credit. So when you think of it all there are lie's that we believe and lies that make us want to scream pant's on fire. So I want to point out five little signs of a really bad liar.


1) Too much detail
Here is the crazy thing about 'telling too much', real memories are sort of blurred. You might remember some song but not too sure who sang it, or what actor was in some film. But when someone is telling a story of something, when they give too much detail that might as well be a screen play. It's a Lie. Guys of the locker room remember there was always one guy who claimed total sexual conquest, but his blow by blow detail had the said spin of a bad late night softcore on skinamax.  Which in a crazy way leads us to our next S****y Lair.


2)Positivity/Expert
Now this may seem odd, but let me explain. If you take the time to search for Motivational Speakers, Gen. Patton, Dr. Phil, anyone who exclaims what a great job or work you are doing every 10 minutes. Than you have met your rarely seen 'Positive Lair'.  Like TMD, this is a liar that loves to talk about all his great deed's, loved one's, famous folk they have come across.  The worse part is they are talkers, any topic you can think of, from ancient history to baseball, they know everything, and by everything I mean what they saw in a movie or made up. Their biggest problem is their short term memory, they will say one thing on Monday and lie about the same thing on Sunday. Not like their cousins.


3)Political (aka The Dancer)
This is not what you might think, but here is something to ponder. Ever notice when someone who holds office, public, private, religious, director or teacher. When confronted with scandal, gossip or mutiny (read http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Bounty#Mutiny_and_destruction_of_the_ship), every figure of talk must address the going's on of there office. Now there are two ways to go about it, deny or officially deny. A short simple Denial can be anything from, "I refuse to comment" which can stir the imagination. But the real fire storm is the official, forget a stir this is an industrial blender that can whip six gallons of whispers that will make everyone talk.  When it comes from someone who spends more time explaining their lack of knowledge of an event than it takes to bake a cake is a Liar.



In the end Liars we meet want attention but must also be watched. Not just physical danger but social, political, work. If a mind that can thing of a thousand and one stories to tell, they also reason out the end results. In some ways we tend to dismiss lairs as sub-human, but we tend to forget their calculation of a situation.