Feeling Different Is Normal

I used to think life was simple
Once, I felt like I had everything in my hands now I'm watching it slip away

Searched for years something inside you
Something I couldn't find anywhere, with anyone

I've got a thing for the color blue, maybe that's why I feel so blue most of the time, happiness is not genuine ever

I have been looking forward to a million things but doing nothing, sabotaging myself over and over and right now acknowledging, my addiction

I have been watching everything fall apart and I laugh about it, as I write down my feelings like they are part of something bad or wrong, is it so strong and bigger than me, I can't control it

Used to feel like I was meant to be doing more, while I was sitting down comparing myself to others, drinking wine, tears on the floor.

Do people always acknowledge their feelings like I think they do? I mean, what's wrong about feeling you were supposed to, do more than the regular, to be extra, and are such a fraude, I know I'm too much but is that wrong or weird?

When I find myself feeling different, at the same time I feel the same as ever before.

Author's Note

If there are grammar problems, please report, I like to know what I did wrong, besides that, what do you guys think?

Reviews

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

guess what you have described me perfectly there are many of us here in this world not just this site that feel like we are onlooking a play and we are not in it, and not performing, almost thats how i feel
i went for years trying to compare myself with normal people making me depressed so i have stopped now accept me as i am and even write about my flaws and faults its healing eh?
good work
great work great descriptives

[angel]

There is a grammar problem in your Author' note..There ARE grammar problems; There IS A grammar problem.
I'VE got a thing for the color blue, not I GOT.
IT is so strong, and bigger than me; I can't control IT.
While I was sitting down...
and ARE such a fraud

There. The grammar is out of the way. Now for the more important thing. You need to know that you are absolutely normal. Hormones run rampant in the body of a teen. They are the culprits!
Mood swings, sometimes very extreme ones, are a natural part of your development.
They'll even out, and if they don't, there are medications that can help, these days.
I don't think you're weird in a bad way. I'm weird myself, and glad of it.
Embrace it, sweet one. Weird people make the world go round.
I'm glad to meet you, Ana Clara.

[Ana Clara]

Thank you very much! I wrote this when I was very alone so yeah it's pretty dark lol, have been struggling with depression since I was 12 yold

[Ana Clara]

oh and I'm glad to meet you too! :)

[barleygirl]

There are some younger people at the café who write about feelings of depression, but it comes out sounding pretty bleak and hard to take in, as a reader. When I read your poem, I feel you are turning your heartache into art. This is a great example of describing tough feelings in creative ways. I think, as writers, most of us do not fit in anywhere. Many of my stories are about misfits I've known becuz I've been attracted to people on the fringe, like I am! *smile* I love the way your poem feels like a self-transformation, trusting yourself more & more, accepting yourself & showing lots of insight about where your feelings come from (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

I'll post this & then look for some grammar issues in the next comment . . .

[barleygirl]

Line 2: "they" sounds awkward . . . try "it"
Line 8: rambling, run-on sentence feels incomplete
Line 9: ment should be "meant"
that's all

[Ana Clara]

Thank you! This kind of insight is what makes me keep going with all this writing thing.