Contemplating

This portion of a hopeful "soon to be" book, is about the thing we all think about.

Contemplation. Contemplating. Thinking about whether or not to do something you’ve been thinking about for a while. The way of the human mind, how it thinks, how it reacts to certain thoughts and emotions, always thinking on whether or not to go with it’s instinct or to go against. We are in constant battle with who we are, what we’ve become after a long period of time and whether or not we’re happy with where we’re headed.
My name is Clara Valentiena and I contemplate about suicide. As a 23 year old girl attending a community college for the arts, I'm barely making it through the thing everyone on this planet contemplates about ending at one point: life. Having the last name of a great female cosmonaut that derives from the Latin word “healthy, strong” or “vigorous” depicts from the fact that I constantly wonder what it would be like to die.
Constantly I am fighting the urge to end what my mother and father "worked so hard" to give me and although all it took was a one night stand and the misuse of contraceptives, I still made it to where I am now. Stuck right in the middle of my parents divorce, pushing through school, and being an only child isn't even what's hard or why I contemplate it, it's more so however the stress of always being depressed, always feeling unwanted in places I should feel I belong and the constant wonder of "where would I end up if I went along with my thoughts?".

Reviews

[Jack Wolfe]

A good introduction, and welcome to Writer's Cafe, I'm Jack Wolfe, and if your passion is 'writing' then you came to the right place. There are some of every walks of life, here, some like myself, who consider writing not only a profession, but a way of life, others who want to make friends, and then there are those who just need a place to pour their hearts out. I hope you find what you're looking for here, and again welcome.

Jack Wolfe

[Morello Sky]

Thanks for your feedback, and I won't be on here often seeing as to how I'm never on my computer it seems rather than my phone with the "Google Docs" app.

[Jack Wolfe]

In any case, welcome, and good luck in your future writing endeavors.