A dead star

All there is the moon burning bright above the woman
All she sees is the soothing path high above the world
There is only a beach down below her foot prints left on the sandy beach
Knowing she is all alone
The comfort of the reflection in the water soothes her
The footprints slowly washing away relaxes her
She runs after the moon but cannot catch up
All she ever wanted was the moon shinning bright above
In her tattered clothes and her shattered dreams she dances in the moonlight
If one night in the light is all she has why not fight for the glorious light.
Once her footprints are washed away so is she,
Once the never ending path has gone away so has her soul,
Gone away finally a moonstar always in the light.
Dancing upon the moon every night leaving all the sorrow and the pain on the beach,
Leaving the cruel world under the sun
The radiance of a full moon still haunts me because of this moonstar.

Author's Note

Soory it's terrible I'm really just starting out!

Reviews

[SB]

For your first start, this isn't bad. You've got the words, it just needs a little more 'flow' to it. Poetry has a lot to do with structure, and how it looks on the page. Not bad at all.

[Maria M.]

NO way is it terrible! You have the words and the concept and the mystery and the flow, maybe a little tweaking on little things like tempo. But it really is fantastic!!!

[...]

I like this, I agree this is mysterious.
You did a wonderful job for starting out.

[Dark Beauty]

I loved your word choice to convey your message in this piece,I liked it alot and looking forward to reading more. Keep writing!!