It was too much

A fantasy novel.

It was too much, just too much. And Sophia could stand it no longer.

Seventeen- year old Sophia pressed her palms onto her temples, mind whirling, willing time to stop there and then for her to catch up with what had just happened. Against her back, the door of the toilet cubicle felt rough and scratchy.

Sophia took a few deep breaths and tried to make her heart calm down. Flashbacks of what had happened haunted her mind.

The girl in the red flashy top who had attacked her. The metallic taste of her fangs. Malice and passion that radiated from her. Sophia had been attacked by her. Claws. Pain on her arm. Fangs reaching out towards the soft flesh of her neck. Then the sudden flash of adrenaline and power as something deep within Alba had erupted into existence. A great whoosh of air, the girl lying flat on the ground. Fear and realization at what she had did. A whirl as she had sprinted for the nearest place she could think over what had happened. The public toilet. Dashing in and locking the door behind her and pushing her back against it

It was all a blur, those images, and Sophia struggled to make sense of them. I…I’ve been attacked by a vampire. Vampire. The word brought back dark fears of small. Vampire. The fanged vile bloodsucking creatures which attacked vulnerable animals that Sophia read about in horror and thriller novels.  Vampires.

Sophia had been taking a walk around the neighborhood when the girl in the red top had morphed into a vampire and attacked her. Something instinctive inside Sophia had exploded into motion. Sophia recalled a surge of power and flashes of blindingly white light and a whoosh of air that she released from her fingertips that froze the vampire’s movements and made her fall.

Sophia desperately tried to calm herself down. All this is not happening, I’m just pretending what had happened, Sophia thought, but somewhere deep within her she knew that what had just happened was real. Real.

                                   *

Sophia closed her eyes, trying to forget what had happened. Now that the fear and strange feeling of power had waned, she felt a bone-deep exhaustion within her. Her eyelids felt heavy and she struggled to open them and when she did, the toilet cubicle revolved around her.Slowly, she fell into unconsciousness and allowed oblivion to take her.

Author's Note

I welcome advice and comments :) Later on in the book I'm going to invent a mentor for Sophia to coach her about magic and how to control it. Maybe I should invent a prophecy or quest for her too. Not so sure

Reviews

[Astrid Elaine]

I only have one nit-pick to make about this: some of the sentences are long and winding, and really run on. If it were to be read aloud, the reader would have to stop and take a breath in the middle of the sentence. BUT this also adds to the sense of bewilderment, so in the end it's not too detrimental at all.

Good job with this!

[Jessie]

I love stories like this :D
You should keep writing so i can read all of it haha!
Great word choice and description! I love it when i feel like i'm living a story. I really don't have any complaint!!