Love Lockdown

Samantha came back to her to church group call College and Career and this new guy came and they are starting to become good friends but now she is having feelings for him but he doesn't have the same feelings for her.

November 20, 2008

 

I know that I will never have him. I did ask him out over two times but he put me down. He told me that he was flattered but he did said that he was ready for relationship. So I know that I will never have him. So I done something to my heart you know how the computer is able to shutdown. Well I done something like that I lockdown my heart that I will not feel any feelings for him and that I won't feel any pain. In back my mind I imagine him and I being boyfriend and girlfriend but it will never happened. But I still wonder.

 

Tonight was College and Career and guess who I saw? It was the guy that I was in love with. I try to give him space. He was having fun with his friends and I was having fun with my friends but sometimes I turn my head around and saw him. My mind was telling me to talk to him but my heart was telling me just don't talk to him and everything was going to be alright. So I was having fun with my friends playing some games and doing some bible study. After bible study and everybody was talking I was playing volleyball with my friends and then I saw him looking at us. I knew that around this time he always go home and sleep.

 

So we were done with volleyball and started to get a stuff. I got a ride to Tim Hortzons when I got there he was there. I thought that he was going to be home already. Well I was being nice person and started to joke with him and making him laugh but nothing use. After when some people was going home I went to see him and told him that I was sorry for telling you about my feelings and that making him unconfortable. He look at me and told me that was alright. I ask him what he was going to do for his weekend and he said that he have some plans for Saturday. I ask him if you are free on Sunday maybe we could have coffee? Now that just came out my mouth and he look at me and smile and told me he have to look at his day planner. I made a joke about that and he started to laugh.

 

I know that he won't call me on Sunday but it was a try. I wonder if he doesn't have any feelings for me or does he? I still have that question in my head but the only person that really know is God. I don't know what God have in plan but I wish that I was psychic and could see the future and see if are relationship is going to get more far. I really don't know but I know that I will fine out soon. I realize that everybody has a heart and key for it and maybe he is supposed to open my heart.

Author's Note

Ignore grammar problems this is just from my heart. Not really a story.