Vampires: A Lost Art

read and find out...

Before you read, I would like to point out a few things as to how I categorized this specific piece. One, I put it under story because, this to me, is not just some rant, but it is something I have thought long about and it became a story in my eyes. If what your eyes see is different then please, no trolling. Also, I do not consider this trolling because I, among many many other people I know personally share the same, if not VERY close opinion. So please, no accusing me of trolling. I put this under "health" because, frankly, this has become a disease... Sad to say, but it is true. Some people are simply in denial. It must be cured, otherwise, our generation (not to mention older generations that are stuck in the past) and future generations could be in grave danger.

Now, if you would like to continue, then be my guest. If you like what you read, good! Join the rebellion! If you don't, and are just reading for who knows why then... I honestly have nothing to say to that. If you do read, at the end I tell something that many Twilight haters would enjoy. So, read my story and find out what I did, or be lazy and just skip to the end. Your choice...

~ Vampires: A Lost Art ~

          Remember when you were younger, how vampires were these viscous, heartless, scary, blood sucking monsters? How Dracula was the most terrifying creature of the night? How you would stay away late at night with the lights on, from fear that there is a vampire somewhere in your room just waiting to suck your blood? ... Well what the hell happened?!
          The disease known simply as "Twilight"... The time before Twilight, vampires were still mysterious, misunderstood creatures. Now, they're a bunch of sparkly, dramatic, lame excuse for a non-human. It broke ALL the traditions of a vampire and opened a door to so many horrid vampire based "teen romance sensation" novels to come. Since when can a vampire be out in the sunlight without having his flesh burn right off his bones? And WHY do they sparkle like some glittered up tranny in a Mardi Gras parade!? (sorry for the reference there. I meant NO offense to anyone who might be in that situation or be offended by that statement... That's just what came to mind.) And I bet you anything, the Cullens eat garlic crust pizza... Now what will we use to defend from the vampires? And one last quick thing... Up until this point, vampires never fell in love with humans. They faked their love to draw them in close to suck their sweet red elixir. Just another thing that has downgraded vampires...
          And now the new book, "First Bite" or whatever. I haven't heard much about it or even seen it's presence near me (thank god...) but from what I did hear, it's very similar.
          Thanks to this new era of vampire and vampire teenage romance novels, a great majority or the female teenage population's brains have turned to mush over fictional creatures (and possibly some male minds). What was once a terrifying being of the night, has now turned into a pretty pathetic and sparkly excuse for anything that dare call itself "vampire". Vampires will never be what they once were... The noble art of Vapirism is still alive within us select few that are still aware of the old days and haven't succumb to the "Twilight disease", and those memories we have of them will always stay true.

Now, for what my fellow Twilight haters would be pleased to hear... I can happily say that I, Skull, have burned a Twilight book, cover to cover! The rebellion has started!

Reviews

[Arsenic Nemesis]

This is fantasic and so, so true! And congratulations on the book burning, you deserve an award, seriously. XD One of my friend's told me that his mate got banned from her local library once; why? She took every single twilight book there and burned the lot of them, in the place XD absolute legend! Good work here, wonderfully thought out and truthful. I actually miss the days I was afraid of vampires as a wee bern. One night when I was walking home from college there was a figure following me, well, some dude with dark hair, very pale skin and dark clothes, smirking the whole way. Needless to say, he seemed almost vampire like. Was I scared? No. Why? Because of this awful new take on vampires. What's next? They'll be skipping through a field of daisies? Oh no wait.... I suppose they already do in twilight... Very good work here, well done~

[joanofbooke]

i must say that in my personal opinion i do like the twilight books and a few other non-traditional vampire books but in truth i agree completely with the fact that vampires have always been creatures of the night and that is where they should stay.

[Nicole]

THIS IS A RANT TWIGHLIGHT IS SOOOO KEWWWLLLL
I LUVVZ EWDWARDZ HE SPARKLES FOR ME!
Lol, as usual, I agree with everything you said. xP