Bad dog

it was storming the night I left, and we truly believed it was the gods telling me to stay.

Read every word captain. I deserve this much after everything.
The excitement is gone
Ecstatic to see you, delighted in the idea of being cuddled up to your body. Lips on my neck to wake me up and my nose pressed against yours later in the day. The hours we spent doing nothing but talking while I sat on your hips begging you to end the cycle with me.

You promised you would but then you lied about why you couldn’t break up with her too. I despise repetition, and you held my face in your hands, looked me in the eyes and swore on everything that it wouldn’t repeat.

it did, it’s a loop, I was right, but you have the ability to break it and you never do no matter how I shout that you need to. I was so proud of you, so infatuated that I cut out everyone, that today is the 3rd day I haven’t eaten in a row.

I thought of taking all of my mothers sleeping pills, where I can be with my sister and you in my dreams for forever, but that doesn’t fix anything.
I’m furious, mostly in myself. That I would allow you to make this mistake, it made me feel like an idiot for having sex with you- no..for making love to you. I’m still convinced on that. But you’d trade love for ease and I don’t understand why.

I miss more than anything my best friend. The person I spoke to every morning and told I loved every night. A thousand jokes between us and I hoped if I pushed you away a little you’d grab me and pull me back because you said yourself you were afraid of losing me.

Did you lie? Was everything a lie..did you just want to get into my pants?
Close your eyes and envision someone has hurt your daughter the way you’ve just hurt me. Would you let him live?
My mom is trying to convince me that you’re awful and yet in my heart i know if you’d message me and ask me to come I’d go in a heart beat.

That’s the problem. Because I love you more then myself. I change myself for betterment to be greater for you, and you..you stick to old tricks.

She’s right you’re a dog. And I can’t turn you into a man if I replaced all of your bones with my own. And believe me I tried.

Reviews

[M.E.Lyle]

I don't really know what to say here. You've said exactly what you need to say. The sad thing is, the person that really needs to read this probably won't.
Keep writing, it's a wonderful outlet for expressing yourself, plus, it helps you feel better, and might even mend some old wounds.
I wish you well.