I knew I loved you, even when it broke my heart. I hid every feeling I felt out of fear of ruining a great friendship of four years for the two that I loved you, like I knew I'd never love anyone else. Even when it hurt me I still loved you. When your girlfriend visited in summer, and you where excited despite all she put you through, I stayed. when you posted about her everyday that week, I stayed. when you told me how she touched you, I stayed. When you took your friend to homecoming and I envisioned how handsome you where that night despite knowing it wasn't me you where holding while dancing I stayed. when you told me that you had the opportunity to sleep with your friend I stayed. I cried myself to sleep but I stayed. When I finally confided in you that I loved you and could no longer live with hiding that despite knowing you didn't feel the same I stayed. Even when your girlfriend started harassing me I stayed despite wanting to leave. Despite knowing what it would do to me I stayed. I had to stay. I loved you too much to lose you. I still am here, except now you love me too. We are polar opposites in many ways and still I need you in my life. You continue to save me from myself and make my days brighter, and sometimes I wonder why I stayed up those nights crying because I believed you'd never notice me. Yet here you are, telling me how much you love me, telling me that I'm your queen, becoming jealous of any man that dare try to step within bounds of courting me. Yet I hold no true title, i know she still holds enough of your heart for that to be complicated and I wonder if she knows about us and chooses to ignore it in hopes of her own fairytale still working out. I hope this works out, I want it to so badly. I have so much love to give. Isn't that clear, because I stayed.
'.. sleep with your friend I stayed. I cried myself to sleep but I stayed. When I finally .. '
There is immense power to this writing. There's so much sadness here, so much giving but perhaps.. too little self.respect. Perhaps!
Your repeated use of the words, 'I stayed' really tugs at the heart. Truly does.
Just one suggestion, might you break up this glow of writing into two or three sections.. the words run into each other at times. Tis your choice, of course. Will move onto the second part now.. thank you.
Well, it looks like staying in one place really does pay off, even if so many other things happen and you dont feel as comfortable as you should, you knew you had to stay and gave it your all. Congratulations on being a strong woman, but not all things have to be that way, and not many would have stayed. I dont know if I would have.