51. Birthday Poem

Twenty two years and half a day

The earth has bore me on her way,

Around the sun, between the stars,

My life within her crystal vase.

Undulating time strolled by

And with it no regret of why,

For I know well that that’s the way

That life, sweet life, comes my way!

 

 

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Alex liked this till the last two lines. Never a fan of using the same word twice and in this short piece you have managed to use way three times. I think I would craft the last line as it seems a little heavy/clumsy

[Alex Moondragon]

Generally I don't like using the same word twice either, but now that you mention it, it sticks out like a sore thumb. It was penned a long time ago, but I'll give it some thought - reworking anything for improvements is a good discipline!