A girl with the miror

Once upon a time, or rather should I say, a while back, and not too long time ago, there was a hypermodern girl. Let`s call her the girl.  The girl was all she was and she felt she was always a step ahead of the contemporary modern time, of her time of course. The girl was busy creating and assembling her identity each day, adding something new and changing something in old, every day. She thought it was what it took to stay always on top of her self-respect. One should always be one-step ahead of others by all means, she`d say. Occupying a middle or near top position would not satisfy her. In fact, it would interfere with the purpose of her life, she thought. Her purpose was to inspire and lead others into the forthcoming trends by always being ahead of her time. I am a cutting edge, visionary, a trendsetter she used to say to her best friend and her best friend would always gracefully reply: Of course, you are! Of course you are!

Perhaps you already have guessed who her best friend was, a hallway Mirror, have no doubt about it! But if you think it was just an ordinary mirror, like the ones that you have in the house, or ever looked at, you are deeply mistaken! It was no ordinary mirror in any sense. In fact, it was an extraordinary mirror! Not only was it what is beyond ordinary and usual, but also it had an extraordinary authority over the girl. Do you think the girl would listen to friends, parents, television, books or the fashion magazines for that matter? Oh no, these entities, the girl was sure of, were not in possession of any valuable insights. Their brain only fires with an old fire! �"the girl used to state. How could I ever take an advice from the people or the magazines made by the very same people who are afraid to get their fingers burnt!  She`d say and I have to agree that in no way was this the case for the girl. The mirror was her only real friend and accepted source of information about upcoming trends. She would always turn to it for the advice.

What was so special about the mirror you may wonder? At the very first look, it was rectangle shaped mirror, with white frame, installed in the hallway on the right side of the exit door. On the opposite wall, in front of the mirror the window resided. The light beams coming through that window would directly reflect on its surface, making it shine at all times during the daylight.

Whenever the girl  looked in the mirror, the reflection would appear, but not like in those other mirrors: a laterally inverted image of reflected geometrical reality. Oh no! This mirror was different. It was rather slow. It needed more time for reflection to appear. As the girl had placed herself in front of it, after  a couple of seconds, slowly and strangely, the image would appear. First things that usually appeared on the silver-golden surface of the mirror were the colors. So the girl would stand in front of the mirror every day and ask the following. Which color would you give me today dear mirror?  Moreover, the mirror would gladly reply each day.

 However, one day something strange happened. The girl stood there in front of her friend mirror, like any other day and asked the same question, just like on the any other day before  leaving the house. What color am I today dear mirror? That day, they, the colors, appeared unusually fast, as if they were waiting for the release. The amaranth purple followed by the amber, circling somewhere between the gold and orange. The colors emitted somehow unusual warmth. One would suspect an intention of setting sensual atmosphere in motion. The amber slowly turned into light pinkish, violet and then immediately transformed into cloudy deep purple, the amethyst. A lovely breeze could be felt in the air.  The girl was immensely immune to the most surprises the life had previously presented her with. Nonetheless, she was bewildered and mystified by the yet unknown colors and their glimmering shades. That day the mirror was not just showing the colors, she knew that, intuitively.

Oh Good Gods! What a day!  The girl exclaimed suddenly. The sprinkle of an everlasting joy is mine today, the girl whispered. There is life in them, colors, she thought and she felt it on that day. As the colors were unfolding, unexpectedly, the scents descended from the mirror. The girl had never smelled these scents before, she had never suspected their existence, and no one had ever told her about them. At first, the cloud of sweetness cascaded in all directions through her Venetian friend. It literally flowed into the room as if the shy amber had charmed the scents unwillingly, giving it a sweet incentive of wanting her. All it had to do is to amplify the pressure and as it had doubled, it would make the final breakthrough through the surface of the mirror. And so it did. The scent rushed slowly into her nose, into her lungs, reached her head. It was smooth, frictionless and brutal as much as uninvited.  As if it knew exactly how much energy expenditure was needed to put the girl in the desired state of mind. It gave her instant drunkenness, raised her sugar level in the blood,  sky-high and remained there for a brief moment only to leave as sudden as it arrived. It didn`t leave her empty, it left her, leaving its traces behind, in the innermost of her being.  It left her the feeling. The feeling that had drowned the scents out of the mirror and had drawn them into her at the first place. It was her, feeling serene that had attracted the scents out to the journey only to be inhaled in again, but be it though her, they had begged the mirror. This brief instance had her buzzed and left her drowsy as the scents had left through her pathways. Feebleness never felt as sweet as it was to the girl in that moment. She felt happy, differently happy. It was the happiness with no reason.  The urge to save the day, to be on the top, to become a hero, to make the world a better place was slowly but surely leaving her whole being. The urge was leaving her inner space silently, holding its breath as if it were a night thief.  A night thief while robbing a house, who suddenly realizes that the owner is back home as he hears rattling sound of a key. Just like the sound, you hear when you slowly slide the key in the lock and are about to turn it to the left.

Open up!

 Enter the dreamy state!

- Low pitched voice, trembling with dreamy confidence was suddenly voiced in her head.  It was not a whisper, not even a sound, it was the scent. The after scent had literally drawn the command letters using its whitish cloud patches pencil-like. It drew itself with an exceptional, irregular symmetry that of which only the divine nature is capable of. The formation of amaranthine, the scent gave the girl an optional command. An order in  low frequency and acted as if it already knew that it had opened the command prompt window of her soul wide open, and yes, there it was: the molecular formula she had been searching for in a long while.

Amaranthine!  

The girl exclaimed as she breathe deep into her lungs and continued:  So this is how I feel today! A day like this never to waste away! Her skin felt smooth and moisture.  Her breath was heavy on the pleasure and light on the walk. Her heart filled with amber, emitting golden orange light that signaled her where to turn. She opened the door, thanked her Venetian friend with a slight blow of a kiss, as she always did and stepped out the house. The colors the girl knew well were reflections of her mood, and moods she knew, was easily transformed into the fragrance. It was old news to her as she was doing it every day.  But today! Today was something extraordinarily different; she had never been on the scent of the something real as she felt in that very moment.  The course to her job at the old perfume lab was already set and as the girl walked through the flame hill on her way to work, she came into realization that, the path she had crossed that day was mysteriously odorized.

 

 

Reviews

[Taylor]

Hi, I critique on first read and then scan again for general comments. My intent is to be honest, supportive and constructive. If I fail in that, please accept my apologies. I'm on this site to improve my writing and I assume others want to do that as well, so even though my comments will be subjective, that's the springboard from which they come. Take what you can use and toss the rest as far away as possible.
1) " The girl was busy creating and assembling her identity each day, adding something new and changing something in old, every day." For me, the repetition of "each day" and then "every day" slowed the pace.
2) "On the opposite wall, in front of the mirror the window resided." The construction of this sentence is odd -- and I think it would be better to find another word instead of "resided"
There are lots of typos and I assume that on careful reading, you'll catch those. All in all, I found this to be quite an interesting story, though I must admit that I was a little disappointed in the ending. I loved your description of the girl's concentration on creating "an image" instead of being herself. But I thought you were going in a different direction than you did. My sense of the ending was that it was rushed and abrupt. I feel the beginning of the story was the strongest. When the mirror began emitting scents, I felt a bit like Alice in Wonderland lost in the woods. But that's just me -- you'll have to judge for yourself and wait to see what other readers think. It's quite a creative treatment of an important subject.

[Entranced]

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I agree with you 100% and yes i am looking for a honest advice and critique to improve my writing. I will take all your remarks into consideration and edit the story. Seems like i really have rushed the ending. I will rethink that too.

[David Jae]

This does have an Alice in Wonderland feel about it, which you should be very proud of. Creatively, this is a very good story.

Technically, there are some improvements that can be made. Primarily, I would suggest that you improve your spacing and include some paragraph breaks. It is practically a solid block of text and that is hard going for readers.

Still, there is a lot of potential here. Don't get disheartened, I enjoyed this.

[Kelsey Schadt]

Hi I liked that you kept this vague to make the theme more universal, but there are some areas I felt the writing was too vague.

1). The girl was busy creating and assembling her identity each day, adding something new and changing something in old, every day. She thought it was what it took to stay always on top of her self-respect.

Maybe it is the word something that I felt made this too broad, and as a reader wanted some specifics

2)The mirror was her only real friend and accepted source of information about upcoming trends. She would always turn to it for the advice.
Love the whimsy that always runs through your writing, but I think I need more specific visual information on the mirror

3) I also felt like I wanted this to go on a little further, for some big theme to emerge. The ending felt unfinished.

As always, I enjoy reading your writing!

[Willard Wells]

It reminded me in content and flow of some children's stories that just have more than I want. Nothing wrong with it, just not my preferred reading you might say. For me it felt like information overload, but as stated the other children's stories were the same way with to me too much information. Fun piece though.