a postcard from no where

this dire isolation
these tedious emotions
                   clawing out the back of my head
                 leaking out of these pale green eyes

the sun is changing its light
      and i can feel the days growing shorter
           and its all so bright
                its all- all right
      i find comfort in my numb and distant ambivalence

across the horizon
this old man
feels a faint feedback
   and it wraps up my young body
and shakes me through
the feelings and memories and wanton cravings

i had dreams all last night
      and felt your ghost
          as the rush and fear of the dark
              rocked me to sleep
            you laughed at me
           and rubbed my muzzle in all i have lost
             i drooled and touched myself
                            prayed for it to go away
                             and touched myself harder

today across the orange and brown fallen leafs

i remember these truths
             and feel empty and comfortable
                           in setting sunlight
                              knowing tonight will be different
                  or maybe not