Twas The Night

Published in Black Ink Horror, Issue #5, Spring 2009, by Sideshow Press

Published by Black Ink Horror, Issue # 5, Spring 2009

Reviews

[Michael Bauer]

this is the kind of authentic and involved writing that makes stephan king look silly. you go right into the work, but not with the paranoia of, say, peter straub, and that allows the reader to always keep an eye on the story and not the author. ... another point about king-type writing... it's always, for me, "this guy's got to be smarter than this", cause he seems to be just writing for little buzz.

someone, on another site, just now challanged me that king "didn't work out all 700 pages before he...", and i think that's the point: that he's writing formula. your writing doesn't read like formula. one thing about starting a piece is that we seem to have an idea of the effect we want to express for the reader: how we want the reader to be involved in our writing. a strong idea of this purpose is, i think, what shows up as strong writing. good writers only write when they've got to say something.

this story is convincing as writing... and the difference between it and a hundred little stories with the same plot that you seem to have visualized what you're writing about: you seem to have the gift to match dynamic and actual vision with words, and then edit the experience down to an acceptable level for your readership. that's what takes this writing out of genre, and what makes "reading the author's working" as the real plot of any story.

[Dave Lounsbury]

Great flow, the pace was very quick and the story moved me along with it a nice rate.
I'll have to check out more of your work.
Keep it up.
Dave

[Kaitlyn M.]

Oh, this concept is brilliant. Santa hunting? This is love. You did a terrific job setting this up--I had no idea what was going on until she actually shot him. I thought it was a broken home, or something (which I suppose was the initial idea, right?). You deliever a great kicker at the end too with the "Mother's has a lump of coal. It always does." Fantastic.

[Cornu]

Mother's has a lump of coal. It always does.

This made me laugh after the set-up.

Great story. Twisted and unique. Just what I like to read.

Bravo!

[Benjamin L. Weekly]

Hah, the last review made me laugh. I have to agree though. You seem to have remarkable talent, dare I say the greatest I've seen for story writing on this site yet. Every part of the story is well fleshed out and it is obvious that from the very beginning you have your goal well in mind. This is a mark of a storyteller. The idea of an immortal Santa Claus, while normally reserved for children's tales, has been brought to life in a stunning twist in a very adult way. Quite well, I might add. Hah, I might just have to check out some more of your work. Now, a couple things I noticed.

The beginning seemed jagged to me. The first sentences are all direct statements, however after that point everything flows well. Too many direct statements in sequence can make a story read choppy, maybe you could interject something in there.

The other thing was the bloody cookies from this afternoon. It wasn't clear to me what happened, and it wasn't explained later either. I can only imagine. If this was intentional, it's probably ok, the only thing is I was wondering what had happened so it interrupted the flow of the story for me. If this happens for others as well, you might want to remove it or explain it so the flow will continue uninterrupted.

Ok that's it, let me know what you think of my reviewing style.

[Leonard W. Kenyon]

f*****g a awesome - that's all there is to say! I totally love it.

[Edmund Jonah]

I have come to you via Francis, who mentioned you in his bounce. I felt I had to look you up.
Obviously you can write and write well. I am not sure, however, whether this sort of thing can find a home in any magazine. Have you tried to place it? This is not my cup of tea. I sure would like to see something of yours, written about real people in a real life dramatic situation. I'm sure you would do a fine job.
Just a bit of nitpicking.
"I can see this in my mind as clear as if I was standing down there, etc."
This is conditional so it should read - as if I were standing down there.

[Robert Oliver]

Unique twist on a Christmas story. You definitely have the plot and imagery visualized well. As for the shotgun as another reviewer mentioned a shotgun can hold two shells and one in the chamber if it has a plug in it for hunting. If no plug is present it can hold five with one in the chamber. That is if it is a pump action and not a break action. Good story, there is nothing I would change. Great job.

[Richard McLin]

Thank you for sending me this, it was great, and fun to read.

[J.A. McRennary]

Bravo... I enjoyed this greatly.