Biden-Trump Debate

Biden-Trump Debate

 

 

Tapper:  Gentlemen, here are the rules for tonight’s debate:  Mr. Trump, when I ask a question it’s like you’ve been handed a football and can run in whatever direction you want, the more deranged the better, using the tone of a five-time divorcee on a bar stool complaining about his third ex-wife.

 

However, when you get the ball Mr. Biden you should let it drop feebly from your hands, then watch it meander toward your own goal with the helpless aspect of an assisted living patient wondering what channel SpongeBob is on.

 

Let’s begin.  Mr. Biden--

 

Trump: Hold on.  (makes dipsy-do hand motion) When I left office this country was a paradise like no one’s ever seen.  Like never before.  Unbelievably paradise-like.  And people couldn’t believe it and they say it was all my doing.  That’s what I’m hearing.  They say, ‘Sir, it was all your doing.’ 

 

(jerks thumb at Biden).   Then this doofus--it's a nightmare at the border, when these illegals are all from jail or they're mental or have syphillis.  Not that that's any disgrace but they're horrible, disgusting people.  And he gives them a green card and a Happy Meal.

 

Biden: …fifteen million new jobs or thousands, sorry, billions.  Millions.  Make it a baker's dozen.  (unintelligible) …too important to have a candidate with a semblance of coherence.

 

Trump:  See what I mean?  I’d have more chance losing to a doormat.  At least you can get the mud off your shoes with one of those.  We’re like a third-world, no, seventh-world nation.  No, we’re like an infinity-world worst nation.  Infinity.  Try to top that, Mr. Mumbles. 

 

Biden: (slurring):  …we finally beat Medicare.

 

Trump:  Listen, I could be at Mar a Lago right now fishing state secrets out of my john and making a killing but I have to debate this fuzznut?  Look, he’s in a trance (passes arm up and down in front of Biden’s eyes).  See?  No response.

 

Biden (gives sudden snarl, like a mean dog woken from a nap):  You’re a sucker!  You’re a loser!

 

(Trump makes dismissive hand gesture) 

 

Biden:  Worst president ever.  Confirmed by prize-winning historians.

 

Trump (dismissive hand gesture):   Prize-winning dodo birds.  Who gives a crap what Doris Kearns Goodwin thinks.  

 

When I left office there were golden angels with golden angel wings flying through the air (makes flying-through-the-air-motion) and they would grant whatever wish you wanted and no country’s ever been happier.  Now look.  (jerks thumb)  Uncle Dimwit over there.

 

Biden:  The idea that (mumbles unintelligibly).  The fact of the matter is (unintelligible).  And I’ll just close by saying, consider the alternative.

Reviews

[Green]

I didn't even listen to the debate. I had it pulled up on the TV and then just couldn't bring myself to unmute it. It was painful enough just watching it, no matter what side you're on. Politics right now are such a circus.

[Relic]

Biden needs to step down for sure. He's putting us in danger every day and our enemies know they can take advantage of this situation. They've got eight months to do it. Jill Biden is an impediment.