Thaw

My start of my freshman year we couldn't afford heat. Maybe thats why I am selfish with it now...

Ice droplets stream down my frozen back. An everyday occurrence that I will never seem to get use too. Shivering to maintain body heat when it is 40 degrees outside the shower walls. Deep breath in, let it out. Shampoo through my hair and body wash all over me as I shudder in the corner as far from the water as possible. Deep breath in, let it out. Splash the water over my front in an effort to get the soap off. Now to flip my hair and hope not to lose my balance (again). Scrubbing to rid the shampoo as quick as possible without a drop touching my back. Until I lean too far in an attempt to get the bottom of my neck and the shower freezes my back as it slides down. Deep breath in, let it out except now it seems stuck. Because the water seems to have knocked the air from my lungs with its icy drops beating my back. I am not choking and I don’t need Heimlich although this feels similar. It’s the middle of October and I can only hope that soon we can scrape together enough to pay the gas company to come turn the heat back on. When it was summer it wasn’t so bad. Refreshing really. But now winter has taken over and ice seems to gather wherever I look. But on the outside I smile because no one must know anything is wrong. Friends just think I am rude and take long showers at their house. Trying to thaw the ice I know must be gathering under my skin. Deep breath in, and let it out.