Hush !!Hush !! Hush!!

I sit in the bus staring at the crowd,
with so much noise all around,
everyone running out for something,
something that doesn't matter at all..

I close my eyes and there I see,
I am sitting in the meadows, and staring the sky,
so peaceful and so calm,
I breathe the air of freedom, the air of love..
That is where I want to be, 
a world where I can be free..

Reviews

[carebear8741]

That is how I feel around the holidays. I go out to do my 'shopping' & am overwhelmed with a feeling that none of it matters. I mean IT'S JUST STUFF for crying out loud!!!!!! That's what I want to scream in the middle of Walmart.

What really matters in all the hustle & bustle of the holiday shopping routine is having people to shop for. I just realized this a couple of years ago when I started forking over the dough for gifts. It's not what's in the package, but who it's given to.

With your poem, I think you are seeing in your minds eye people running around doing mindless tasks or busy work. Maybe these people are doing more important things, like picking up a sick kid from school, or visiting an elderly parent, or just going to work so their family can eat next week.

As for the writing style, I give you a 93%. Hey, don't try so hard, Monika! Just let yourself go with the thoughts pouring out :) Keep up the good work!

[Monika Avalur]

Sure :) thanks for the read

[Karmee]

I love this write, This is very good,
feelings well expressed

[Monika Avalur]

Thank you :)

[Cameron]

It's short and sweet, and I like it. Really gives you a sense of a crowded bus, then when you close your eyes you're in a green field (at least for me it's easy to picture).

[Monika Avalur]

Thank you :)