What we wanted..

A miserable attempt at rhyming.

I made you strong, you made me weak.

Isn't it love, that we seek?..

We did what we had to, not what we wanted.

And now the momories, they keep us haunted.

Shackled with the thoughts, I can not be merry.

It's hard to laugh and play, i'm always dreary...

We both smile a lot now, we've had to learn to fake it.

So now the plan we have, is to fake it till we make it.

Author's Note

How do you think I can extend it, and should I?
And the end makes it seem incomplete doesn't it?

Reviews

[Michael G. Smith]

I like it and think the rhyming shceme is good, but on line two and four I think the word both is not needed, read without them and see. It is implied but, I line seven even though it is implied with We the both here helps the statement. On line seven for a better syllable count what about "We both smile a lot, although we've had to learn to fake it"? The last line a brilliant one every time I read it, it is like a rock skipping across the water. Here's something interesting I found out in researching that the words "Till and Until are interchangable and mean the same thing. Also, I couldn't find anywhere that "Alot" is acually a word. It is always "A lot".

[Moniba]

Now that...is constructive. I thank you. I agreed with you. And i've made corrections, except the last stanza.. It just seemed right to me the way it was :)

[Moniba]

Heheh... it's not my native language as I said ;) my language is waaaaay too different. Even a different script. Urdu. So thank you again, for telling me about the words too ;)

[The dark story]

It is quite ravishing when I read it and I think you have ended it quite nicely…and I don't think that you have to extend it…somethings can be expressed in few words.it depends on the writer how he or she carries it off…and I think you have penned it nocely in these four stanzas…nice job!!

[Moniba]

Thank you :)