2:36 AM

Most nights I can't sleep, and I think will you ever leave my head. I know life has to punish me for my own self neglect. I sometimes see the future where someone else is on my mind, but I ask myself, will it ever happen?
Connecting with another human being in such a way that it makes you feel like you're the same person or they're your best friend, seems like such a miracle to me. I'm afraid it will never happen again.
I pray that I can sleep normally someday. Sometimes I wish for real friends.. I know I have to face my demons and be whole again; content with who I am. With or without someone else. Today is the last day I talk to you or have you in my life.
I always wanted to have a diary but never understood why. I would write in them some days and abandon it in a week. Now it seems with all of this newfound pain, I can stick to writting in it everyday, throughout the day. While Waiting for class to start or sitting on the bus, so many thoughts race through my mind, it feels like it will never stop.
Maybe I was a good writer in elementary and always wanted to keep a diary because god knew I would need it soon enough. Was I foreshadowing my future? Was I pre-destined for this tragedy?
My sorrows seem endless, I have nowhere to turn. If I could rise up to another life, in another time, I would not hesitate. I wonder if I will ever find someone who will care as much as I care and be as genuine as I am.