Web Journal Of Red Pill Coyote - October 19, 2022

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN A FOX MERMAID HYBRID SHOWS YOU HER MILK BALLOONS? Yup, I'm baaaaaack. The wanting to poke myself in the jugular vein continues...
We got an interesting call yesterday by YET ANOTHER CENTER. And the girl who works there and called the house, apparently went to school with me.. Yeah... I wonder if it's that apostolic girl... Nothing against her. I'm sure she's a Butterfly Person of Portsmouth, Ohio BUUUUT, I really am done with these disability places. And that girl probably thinks I'm such a loser for thinking I need a robot made out of flesh. Nothing against her but I hate the aura of feeling like I'm severely crippled when I'm obviously not. The crap that these people ask me has got nothing to do with what I actually struggle with. And it just drowns my self esteem with the fur bearing trout.
Anyways, today, I was just a court jester for Mary at FYE. And I had a cinnamon interaction with Markie on Snapchat... Not what I was expecting... I mean, for the most part. She talked like living breathing creatures about things. I feel like I can talk to her about anything. But she was sending me some snapchat videos and... she was naked in them. And I get it. We all like to be naked in our rooms. Me too. But she directly showed me her bare breasts.. Didn't ask for it... And I know she didn't mean anything by it. Adam and Eve was nude in the Garden Of Eden but what if Alessadra found out? She might think I'm an incubus. Markie just sent me a video of her showing her bubble gum metal tits and it kind of placed dynamite in my cranium and I think she was just asking me if I thought she had regular n*****s. And she apparently forgot I had a girlfriend.. Ya know, even though I don't actually think Markie likes me that way. It made me kind of glued me to the throne of guilt because what if Alesandra finds out? I didn't ask to see Markie's door knobs.. She just showed me them without warning. I feel like Alessandra would take it the wrong way. Another reason why I wanna cut my penis off... I think Markie is a ruby canine princess BUUUUUT now I got the German Shepard alertness... I hope no other girl sends me any nudes... And what sucks about being a male is that no matter what, you're going to be aroused by the sight of b***s and I wish that didn't happen. Castrate me. Please... Light the midget zombie on fire while you're at it.
I wish I could just feel platinum about myself.. For once... FOR THE MOST PART, what I'm puking rain about now has nothing to do with Markie.. She's still a crimson seraphim who wants to rescue people. I'm just talking about in general. I just can't feel good about anything regarding myself. The reflection is shattered.. Ya know? And I just don't feel golden enough for someone like Alessandra... I mean, she will sit there and puke rainbows onto me... And she's just too good for me. I feel like...
Anyways... For videos, I bashed my head against my laptop, drowned it in germ X, slammed my head against it even more, threw it into my toilet, and urinated on it... Gremlins stole its soul anyways... lol.
And then yesterday, I urinated into a cup, microwaved it and poured it all over my left hand. And I've had a burning blister on that hand since yesterday.. Symbolism that something as comical as urine can be weaponized...