Web Journal Of Red Pill Coyote - December 6th, 2021

I'm in my room crying over Tiffany... There really is just this devastating aura that follows all of us. A certain loss of innocence and purity that's surely missed... Especially when listening to songs like It's The Lover, Not The Love. I love that specific appearance she made on the Pat Sajak show. In fact, all her old 80's Pat Sajak presences are just amazing. And she always carries herself so well, despite the drama that was going on back then. Ya know, with the emancipation battle. I know she got her alcoholic tendencies from her mother... But you'd think she'd learn her lesson. Tiffany, like all the other women who've entered my life, need me as their hero. And I feel like she didn't really have the right guide in her life in those days. And it's why she thought posing nude in Playboy like a succubus was a good move. This is why late 80's and early 90's Tiffany will always be top dog for me. Sure, there were certainly some silhouette spirits on her cove island but I feel like she was the stability and balance, personified. But if the timeline wasn't cruxed for us by WHAT I THEORIZE TO BE FALLEN ANGELS WHO WANNA BE GODS then I could be the one to save her from the horizon. I should have known something was up by the way she always reacted to my humor/jokes. PRESENT DAY. TALKING ABOUT THIS TIMELINE. So yeah, that's one thing I never mentioned on here until now. Tiffany is simply one of those weird people who doesn't laugh at my jokes. Maybe I really am just not as funny as I'd like to be and Tiffany is supposed to be that ultimate wake up call. "YOU'RE NO WHERE NEAR AS FUNNY AS YOU'D LIKE TO BE, CODY!". I mean, my parents mostly laugh at my jokes, Pam mostly laughs at my jokes, Kayla mostly laughs at my jokes, Johny mostly laughs at my jokes, most people mostly laugh at my jokes it seems. And the fact that Tiffany has this bizarre thing where SHE BARELY CRACKS A F*****G SMILE when I try to be funny with her, shows me that there's some anomaly or glitch because I was born at the wrong time. But of course, that's just what I'm suspecting from the inspecting... I know I have autism but I'm a 26 year old with autism and I know how a person should react to something that's meant to be funny. Most jokes usually cause a person to laugh or at the very least SMILE. I mean, people not laughing at my jokes has ALWAYS been a pet peeve of mine. I mean I can get pretty grumpy because of it. I mean I AT LEAST GET IT that not all of my stupid jokes are going to land but at least SOMETIMES. And with Tiffany, IT JUST SO HAPPENS SHE PROBABLY THINKS I'M A PATHETIC UNTALENTED UNFUNNY LOSER. Sometimes I wonder if she just doesn't even know that I'm trying to be funny. Which is both sad and kind of hilarious at the same time. Lol. And so, honestly... Sometime right after meeting her face to face, I would go up to my apartment and just cry because it was so painful to me. And this is where I'm really going through the fire field because the truth hurts. I think Tiffany dislikes me. Because back in 2020, I would tag her in stuff PRAISING HER and she would remove her tag. Which doesn't make a lot of sense to me because she has a lot of people tagging her in stuff. I noticed that even back then and I assume she was fine with it because she didn't remove her tag with them. And then, there came to a point where she f*****g unfollowed me on IG. And I'm not sure if I've told Johny that or not.. Just something that I don't think I've came around to telling him. I'm sorry but her attitude with me there for a while was kind of atrocious and rude as Hell... Ya know, I hear all these people talking about oh how wonderful and friendly she is with her fans. And then here I am, I'm the exception. And I think the reason why she got nicer later on is because... Well, I can only theorize, obviously but she probably thought I was like a dangerous fan type. Like "Oh no! I don't wanna rise this guy's flames or he might do something catastrophic". And that's pretty bad when you have to force yourself to be nice to someone. And obviously, it's that whole "Well I gotta put up with this stupid a*s hole for a short while, so I gotta try to make the best of it". And this isn't me trying to taint Tiffany's image. If she's been  an angel in a human costume through out all this time you've known her, good on you. I'm obviously jealous of you but I'm not going to hold it against you. Because you can't control how she reacts to you unless you're a full blooded vampire or a parasite. I just don't fully understand why she treated me in that specific way there for a while. I think when it all boils down to it, I just think she isn't a fan of my personality. And if Tiffany ever reads this, it's okay if you dislike me. You shouldn't feel obligated or forced to be congenial with me. I mean, most people who live in my area obviously has a natural dislike for me. I mean if they legit liked me, they would actually hang out with me. "Well, he might be in the Hellish pits to where not even a behemoth can climb out of because none of us like him or wants to hang out with him but it's not illegal". And that's the truth. I might be lonely and it hurts but no one around here is technically committing a crime just because they want nothing to do with me. Let's be rational. And I feel like Tiffany has every right to tell me that she dislikes me. If she ever messages me and says something on the lines of "I don't like you and you should just buzz off", it'll be a horrible feeling but I won't do anything, technically. I'll respect her wishes and just not have anything to do with her. And it hurts so bad that Tiffany probably does dislike me but it doesn't really affect my life a whole lot. I mean, I'm just being honest and realistic. The fact that people in my town dislikes me has way more of an effect on my life than Tiffany disliking me. Because with these people disliking me, despising me or whatever, I don't hang out with anyone. No one invites me to their parties, weddings or anything like that. And I just live my life as a hopeless loser who wonders around my village because I have nothing better to do. And because of that, I do hope ONE DAY, this town has AT LEAST an epiphany of feelings about that. Like if I die FOR WHATEVER REASON(Could be by accident like if I get hit by a car), I do hope my town will feel guilty for the way they've treated me my whole life. And I'm not targeting this at a specific person. I'm talking this area or county AS A WHOLE.