When The Night Falls

Trying to describe my days with that person whom used to be special for me.

‪#When_The_Night_Falls.

‪#‎March_The_22nd. 

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When the night falls, I start noticing my flaws.

The beast, inside me, crawls.

Clutched by its claws.

You knock on the shadows' doors. 

Then you realize, they are all just abandoned floors. 

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When the night falls, I recall our falls.

We used to talk till the dawns.

You left me up of my downs.

I hid behind my frowns. 

Will you come to my floors?! 

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When the night falls, the grief hauls. 

It hauls me to the nowhere.

But, I should beware. 

Because there will not be any shores. 

Will I survive the grief's frauds?! 

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When the night falls, the world cruels.

Honesty gets veiled.

It was nothing of what I needed.

Because fear rules, but it cannot be ruled.

To my principles, I am glued.

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All what I wanted to say is: "GO AWAY"!!

Reviews

[TamerQtaish]

Hello,
I saw you reviewed many of my writings so I will try to return the favour, haven't been on here since very long but here it goes!
This kinda reminds me when I first starting to write. I can see the clear AAAAA Structures you used here, my advice would be not to be afraid to go out of it! Use an ABAB or even a ABCABC structure for your rhymes.

Now with he technical out of the way, i really love the message and the feelings in this one, I especially loved this part:
"When the night falls, the grief hauls.
It hauls me to the nowhere.
But, I should beware.
Because there will not be any shores.
Will I survive the grief's frauds?!"

Keep it up and I will try to review more of your work.
PS: I am doing fine, I use writing to express my self so it wont consume me!

[Lubna]

Hi, you described your emotions very well in this. A very good write. This is my first time reading your writing and will definitely check all of them.

[RED]

Hi, thanks for the review. Your opinion does matter to me.

Thanks for dedicating some of your time to read my writings.

[Adam W Redmon]

Another great one. I really enjoy your poetry it flows superb!

[RED]

Thanks, buddy.

Your review actually pleased me. ^_^

[Adam W Redmon]

I'll read more of your poems I promise. im working on a novel now. Well trying to start. procrastination kind of blows haha

[RED]

Hahah.

And, I hope you a pleasant journey in the writing field.

Believe it or not, but I am the most suitable example for procrastination.

Thanks again, buddy.