When The Night Falls

When The Night Falls

A Poem by RED
"

Trying to describe my days with that person whom used to be special for me.

"
‪#When_The_Night_Falls.
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When the night falls, I start noticing my flaws.
The beast, inside me, crawls.
Clutched by its claws.
You knock on the shadows' doors. 
Then you realize, they are all just abandoned floors. 
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When the night falls, I recall our falls.
We used to talk till the dawns.
You left me up of my downs.
I hid behind my frowns. 
Will you come to my floors?! 
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When the night falls, the grief hauls. 
It hauls me to the nowhere.
But, I should beware. 
Because there will not be any shores. 
Will I survive the grief's frauds?! 
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When the night falls, the world cruels.
Honesty gets veiled.
It was nothing of what I needed.
Because fear rules, but it cannot be ruled.
To my principles, I am glued.
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All what I wanted to say is: "GO AWAY"!!

© 2015 RED


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Reviews

Hello,
I saw you reviewed many of my writings so I will try to return the favour, haven't been on here since very long but here it goes!
This kinda reminds me when I first starting to write. I can see the clear AAAAA Structures you used here, my advice would be not to be afraid to go out of it! Use an ABAB or even a ABCABC structure for your rhymes.

Now with he technical out of the way, i really love the message and the feelings in this one, I especially loved this part:
"When the night falls, the grief hauls.
It hauls me to the nowhere.
But, I should beware.
Because there will not be any shores.
Will I survive the grief's frauds?!"

Keep it up and I will try to review more of your work.
PS: I am doing fine, I use writing to express my self so it wont consume me!


Posted 10 Years Ago


Hi, you described your emotions very well in this. A very good write. This is my first time reading your writing and will definitely check all of them.

Posted 10 Years Ago


RED

10 Years Ago

Hi, thanks for the review. Your opinion does matter to me.

Thanks for dedicating som.. read more
Another great one. I really enjoy your poetry it flows superb!

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

RED

10 Years Ago

Thanks, buddy.

Your review actually pleased me. ^_^
Adam W Redmon

10 Years Ago

I'll read more of your poems I promise. im working on a novel now. Well trying to start. procrastina.. read more
RED

10 Years Ago

Hahah.

And, I hope you a pleasant journey in the writing field.

Belie.. read more

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187 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on April 2, 2015
Last Updated on April 2, 2015

Author

RED
RED

Amman, Abu Nsair, Jordan



About
I am a young passionate writer who seeks to spread and share his own writing world-widely. more..

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