"come in she said i'll give ya, shelter from the storm"
"and the deputy walks on hard nails and the preacher rides a mount, nothing really matters much it's doom alone that counts" (dylan)
but there is that light in the distance, always...there is that refuge from the deluge...if we are patient and determined, we can find it.
i like this...and would like to see where you might take it...although you know me, and the whole less is more thing....i feel this allows me to travel as far as the storm will take me.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Yeah, I feel the same usually, “Less is more.” I think it’s close to finished. Maybe one more .. read moreYeah, I feel the same usually, “Less is more.” I think it’s close to finished. Maybe one more stanza to round it out for a lyric, or maybe just a chorus…
Thanks for your input. “but there is that light in the distance, always...there is that refuge from the deluge...if we are patient and determined, we can find it.” This comment has me thinking about this again…
I love it; the theme and the beginning of a great chorus: Shelter from The Storm. Rob Thomas, great songwriter of Matchbox 20 (you probably know) said, write what they want to hear. You just did it! Now, let's get to the bridge, HA - want to hear this on Soundcloud; your voice is absolutely beautiful! Thank you. Dale
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you.
9 Years Ago
Y/W....Sorry my comments are "FEATURED" was not my intent; talked more about other stuff! But I do .. read moreY/W....Sorry my comments are "FEATURED" was not my intent; talked more about other stuff! But I do want to hear the song!
9 Years Ago
IDK if it will ever make it to an actual song.
9 Years Ago
Oh, but it can!! The chorus is fabulous.....and stone...home....belong...especially Christian or C.. read moreOh, but it can!! The chorus is fabulous.....and stone...home....belong...especially Christian or Country. Great start. I love music. Anyway.....
9 Years Ago
:) :)
9 Years Ago
..........:]:]:
9 Years Ago
I see this as God our Lord; and I love it...it would also be a beautiful hymn...It can go on...or st.. read moreI see this as God our Lord; and I love it...it would also be a beautiful hymn...It can go on...or stay as it is: Reminds me of God's presence in my life. I hope more people will read. Thank you Momzilla NC:]Dale
Thank you. Yes, it's still unfinished. I'm working on a drawing that I hope will inspire the rest of.. read moreThank you. Yes, it's still unfinished. I'm working on a drawing that I hope will inspire the rest of the poem.
9 Years Ago
Thats cool. Carry on :D May the force be with you. Haha
I agree with Pryde. Something about a citadel or a tower, maybe...
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
I'm actually envisioning a house, almost lost to view in the distance, but with a light shining thro.. read moreI'm actually envisioning a house, almost lost to view in the distance, but with a light shining through a stormy night. I'm think of sketching or drawing something. But, yes, something about the place of shelter seems appropriate. Thank you.
Rising strong, oft threatened
Still standing in the distance
Surviving, waiting in welcome…
Shelter from the storm
Yeah perhaps a central stanza that strays some from the pattern … as it stand though the alliteration is great.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thanks. Y'know, I didn't even notice the alliteration. How did I miss that? Anyway I'm still thinkin.. read moreThanks. Y'know, I didn't even notice the alliteration. How did I miss that? Anyway I'm still thinking about this one. Maybe some sketching will inspire…
If you read my work and comment, I'll return the favor on your work. I'm not adding new friends nor accepting read requests.
I am a classically trained artist and was an award-winning graphic desig.. more..