To the Me Who Was…

This is in answer to MusicMania's challenge to write to the our 13 year old selves in the Poetry Challenge Group.

You there… yes… you

You’re the me that was.

I’m the me who’ll be you.

A chance to end is lost.

No love behind her gate…

Another year has gone.

Just lost… lost in her hate…

Beaten down… down… down… done.

I know you wanna die.

Think you’ll end all the lies.

Again secreted the tools… sigh

The means of your demise…

Starving yourself to perfect

some ideal upon you shamed,

with no one near to protect

from her vision on you profaned.

Another Summer’s on the horizon

At hand now’s a short reprieve

Don’t despair… she never won

Off to Gran’s where love you’ll receive

These Summers are your respite

from the unremitting torment.

In those halcyon days will joy flit,

until home again you must be sent.

You’ll survive her madness

and leave her insanity behind.

Life will shine for you, I promise,

Coming to you, a heart and eyes so kind.

I swear to you, by all Heaven,

More love and joy will come

Than all the suffering she’ll leaven.

For each dark day, a hundred in the sun…

Love and joy so much better

Than you can imagine of a lover

Pressed down, shaken together…

I pledge… yes, and running over… 

Whispered kisses and a healing space…

A lover strong and kind and bright…

A gentle heart of endless grace…

Ebony eyes will shine with Love’s light…

They will shine only for you and for the person you will become in me.

by D. Denise Dianaty

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

Perhaps it is better we can not see into the future. If the future was a foregone conclusion, we might not work as hard to get through the bad times. Unique poem here. I don't do the challenges so I was unaware of it. Lots of good introspection and honest emotion in your words. I enjoyed it. Lydi**

[MomzillaNC]

Thanks. This one brought up all kinds of emotions… when I think on what I'd have missed out on if I'd given in to that teen angst, destructive impulse… It's frightening and makes me even more grateful for all the love and joys I have now.

[free will]

Very honest & hopeful. "For each dark day, a hundred in the sun" I love that :)

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you. It's the truth of the now that I live. It's an incredible blessing.

[Dannyisawriter]

Powerful, heartfelt, and I really liked it! I find it so cool how your writing to yourself :)

[MomzillaNC]

TY. This was composed in answer to a challenge posed by MusicManiac to my Poetry Challenge group.

[TL Boehm]

Heartfelt poetry - if only we could see the future and the good things. Perhaps we could weather the horrible moments more easily.

[MomzillaNC]

IKR? Thanks. When I think of all that has come to me, of the people whose lives my son has touched so deeply, I shudder over those bad old days and the choices I entertained to escape.

[An owl on the moon]

What a powerful, beautiful word to lift and transform.... oh that we could all find such a hope to cling to when we face those painful trials...

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you. I would wish the same for everyone.

[Rene Salinas]

I've seen a few of these writings around as per ususal first to know last to go, that's me right there in a nutshell. I assume talking to what then was going to become you. Some harrowing moments, my goodness, I know that we all have challenges to face but my oh my your adolescence seems a hard one to understand. I just took so many drugs one of the consequences is that the people around me remember more than I do. God thanks for the healing bit I was beggining to think that redemption wasn't coming. A very honest and very emotional writing this. Sharing that part of yourself certainly brave.

Thankyou

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you. And, no drugs for me; I was stone cold sober through it all. I look forward to your own answer to the challenge.

[Rene Salinas]

Huh! What challenege my goodness what are you people going on about? Everyone says the same I sm so confused....

[MomzillaNC]

The Poetry Challenge group. MusicManiac issued a challenge to write to our 13 year old selves.

[MomzillaNC]

I'm sorry, I just checked and you're not in that group. Anyway, that's why you're seeing so many of these kinds of writings recently.

[Rene Salinas]

Oh right! There we go! Ha So you guys have a group going with a theme, makes sense. Well great stuff!

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you.

[armin]

much artistic. You have articulated the poem in an awsome manner and I loved it.
I swear to you, by all Heaven,
More love and joy will come
Than all the suffering she’ll leaven.
For each dark day, a hundred in the sun…
Those lines were tremendously great. Have a nice time writing.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

when we are teens we may feel forced to be perfect in all ways...the grown up self knows that is not possible and that we must love ourselves no matter who we are...
being what everyone else thinks we must be...that is pretty nearly impossible..

but the second half of the poem...gives us that place that we can go inside ourselves where we can feel contentment...where we can love ourselves despite others' judgments.

this is quite a good poem, and the perspective reminds me of how Gwendolyn Brooks used to write often from the perspective of people at all different ages, especially from the perspective of the youths...the teenager...and how it feels...

jacob

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you. I'm not familiar with the work of Gwendolyn Brooks; what has she written?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you can find her on line...she was poet laureate of Illinois, and was the first african american to win the pullitzer for poetry...

she wrote "we real cool" among others...

i had the great fortune to meet her a few times when she spoke at SIU and at our college, John A. Logan...

she died several years ago at 83...or 84---

she had the talent of writing poems from the perspective of a little person, or a teenager and made them so real...

jacob

[MomzillaNC]

Thanks so much!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Mom,

i just double checked...and yes, if you google her, there are several of her poems on poemhunter...i think you might like her work...

jacob

[MomzillaNC]

I found her. Thanks.

[Matching Socks]

I really like this poetry group challenge thing... I saw KL do one too.
I love this idea of writing a letter to yourself. It's great that so many of us who were in a bad place back then have overcome so much and have found happiness and success... Eventually.
Nice job. It's a personal piece to share and I love reading these the most, it gives me a glimpse into your world, who you are.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you. I'm honored you liked this one.