Something Wicked Stalks the Light

My first Halloween offering this year

Nighttime walk down a lonely city street

Trailed by the echoing of another’s feet

Electric street lamps sizzling, a flickering

Create fluid shadows dancing, snickering

In the gloom… something wicked stalks the light

prowling in the shadows… just beyond sight.

Just there… right out the corner of your eye

Something formless… something undefined you spy

Creeping closer… closer… yet still unseen

Slithering… shambling… murmuring… obscene

Dark malevolence dwells in the darkness

You hear in the shadows a susurus

An itch prickles between your shoulder blades

Your small courage so very quickly fades

Breath catching… you gasp… “Breathe” you tell yourself

Walking ever faster, you hope for help

The steps behind speed up… keep pace with you

With a loud clomp, stomp, scramble… what to do?

Don’t look deep… don’t peer into the shadows

Or you’ll be lost… forever lost in fear’s throes

A light… gasp… right there… up ahead… just goes out

Shadows in blackening gloom there now sprout

In the dark, shadowed depths, blazing red eyes 

Feeding off the terror in your fear’s rise

A sudden turning taking you away

From that lonely path where those shadows play

by D. Denise Dianaty

Reviews

[realmwriter]

I'd say it's pretty spooky. Ray Bradburyesk. But I do believe only in the title. Makes me of course, think of "Something Wicked This Way Comes" But it is very Poe. My favorite of all Bards even more than the greatest Shakespeare himself.

"A sudden turning taking you away
From that lonely path where those shadows play"

Might I add on from here?

Very well done I must say.

[David Lewis Paget]

And spooky it is, Momzilla. I like the rhyming couplet layout, but one word of crit. if I may. It's always best to choose your metre /rhythm at the start, and not vary it from verse to verse. There is quite a variation between some verses here, so it doesn't read as smoothly as it should. One way is to count the syllables in the line, and stick to it. Just my view...

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you very much. This is actually my first deliberate attempt at spooky. I think it came out more creepy than spooky. And, I usually try to match the syllables. But, with this one, the pauses were part of it, I think. I read it aloud several times with the metronome. I do realize some of the lines are shorter; I'll take another look though. And, I'll definitely be more aware for the next one.

[MomzillaNC]

I took you suggestion and edited the poem for a more pronounced rhythm in the meter.

[David Lewis Paget]

I see that Momzilla. All part of the editing and smoothing process that in future you should undertake before posting. I sometimes re-edit 15 times before I'm totally happy with the result.

[MomzillaNC]

Thanks. I actually thought it was finished. This is my first every deliberate attempt at such a form. Thanks for your help.

[Malister Mikey]

It was a good poem written very well, It could be considered spooky, many people find themselves running and fleeing from unknown reasons when in the dark like something is out to get them.

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you. I guess it's more creepy than spooky. :D

[Malister Mikey]

either way you did a really good job with it

[MomzillaNC]

Thank you. :D

[MomzillaNC]

I edited the poem to fix the meter.