I like the conclusion(well I don't know quite a lot of words in the beginning....I apologize). Faith, hope ,love, charity, grace, mercy and undeserved salvation, these are what I need in my life.
However, I think I should add "honestly", when everything is real, they have their meaning in it. But that they are fake, it doesn't mean anything. It should be...
Well, the poem, I can't really comment about it cause I am not a poem writer...sorry. But I think the first few paragraphs express your feeling.
Impression. Maybe.
Thanks for submitting~
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you. Which parts did you have difficulty understanding? Is it a colloquial thing? For example,.. read moreThank you. Which parts did you have difficulty understanding? Is it a colloquial thing? For example, "Old Glory and 'purple mountain’s majesty'" are, respectively, the US flag and a phrase from the song, "America the Beautiful."
As for adding "honesty," well, how can you not have honesty when you have "Words of the Divine set down for me; Faith, Hope, Love, and Charity; Grace, Mercy, and undeserved Salvation?"
10 Years Ago
Thanks~I am in HK and i don't know much about it...hehe
I didn't mean that but I did have frie.. read moreThanks~I am in HK and i don't know much about it...hehe
I didn't mean that but I did have friends got faith, hope, love, and charity; grace, mercy, and undeserved salvation, but somehow, maybe she is dishonest to herself, those aren't true....and her friends(not me) are just kind of social bullying.
I will not argue with this...thanks again~
10 Years Ago
I'm sorry, where/what is "HK?"
10 Years Ago
Hong Kong China
10 Years Ago
Oh. Okay. Well, which phrases were giving you difficulties? I'm happy to de-colloquialize them for y.. read moreOh. Okay. Well, which phrases were giving you difficulties? I'm happy to de-colloquialize them for you.
10 Years Ago
Hopefully,@Let me ruminate ‘pon sensual darkness…
Tremble o’er Hollywood’s fluttering .. read moreHopefully,@Let me ruminate ‘pon sensual darkness…
Tremble o’er Hollywood’s fluttering Gothics…
Ride the edge of my seat with the hero…
Weep with the heroine’s desperation.
Mostly that paragraph...Thanks...
10 Years Ago
Hollywood produces a lot of movies that trend to the Gothic -- vampires, werewolves, ghosts, etc. Th.. read moreHollywood produces a lot of movies that trend to the Gothic -- vampires, werewolves, ghosts, etc. These are dark, sexy takes: "sensual darkness."
That was all part of a basic genre (style of story) called "Gothic." Old film movies used to have this flickering look to them from the light and they made this fluttering sound when the machinery was running, but you'd still tremble in delight or fear or excitement or anger at what passed on the screen: "Tremble [over] Hollywood's fluttering Gothics."
Good stories had you sitting on the edge of your seat in the theater, with every excitement the hero of the piece went through onscreen, including those wild chases in cars, on horses, in stagecoaches, planes, trains, etc.: "Ride the edge of my seat with the hero"
Emotional movies can make us laugh, make us cry, make us feel; have you ever cried with the hero (male main character) or heroine (female main character)? "Weep with the heroine's desperation"
10 Years Ago
Thanks a lot. I finally know the meaning. It is fantastic! Especially the organization part, which I.. read moreThanks a lot. I finally know the meaning. It is fantastic! Especially the organization part, which I never thought these all will combine together. I am no good at poem...but well, I wanna try once soon~~hehe thanks~~
10 Years Ago
Glad to help. Thanks.
Why don't you try combined meter (rhythm) and rhyme? Try 7/9/7/9.. read moreGlad to help. Thanks.
Why don't you try combined meter (rhythm) and rhyme? Try 7/9/7/9 meter: that's seven syllables for line one/nine syllables for line two/seven syllables for line three/and nine syllables for line four. Rhyme a/b/a/b: that's rhyming line one with three; and rhyming line two with four.
10 Years Ago
Ok, I will try it on this weekend(I need to work on weekdays~~)
Please send me an RR for what you produce whenever you finish it. For really good examples here on W.. read morePlease send me an RR for what you produce whenever you finish it. For really good examples here on WritersCafe, check out Ploughboy, MAD ENGLISHMAN, Rick Peutter, Tate Morgan, and David Louis Paget; they are probably the best writers of strict meter and rhyme here. Try reading the Rubaiyat too. And E.A. Poe and Emily Dickenson and Robert Frost.
10 Years Ago
Thanks. I will hopefully finish it this week. I have my idea about it but just the ryhming....thanks.. read moreThanks. I will hopefully finish it this week. I have my idea about it but just the ryhming....thanks for leading me so much.^^
What is RR anyway...
I like the conclusion(well I don't know quite a lot of words in the beginning....I apologize). Faith, hope ,love, charity, grace, mercy and undeserved salvation, these are what I need in my life.
However, I think I should add "honestly", when everything is real, they have their meaning in it. But that they are fake, it doesn't mean anything. It should be...
Well, the poem, I can't really comment about it cause I am not a poem writer...sorry. But I think the first few paragraphs express your feeling.
Impression. Maybe.
Thanks for submitting~
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you. Which parts did you have difficulty understanding? Is it a colloquial thing? For example,.. read moreThank you. Which parts did you have difficulty understanding? Is it a colloquial thing? For example, "Old Glory and 'purple mountain’s majesty'" are, respectively, the US flag and a phrase from the song, "America the Beautiful."
As for adding "honesty," well, how can you not have honesty when you have "Words of the Divine set down for me; Faith, Hope, Love, and Charity; Grace, Mercy, and undeserved Salvation?"
10 Years Ago
Thanks~I am in HK and i don't know much about it...hehe
I didn't mean that but I did have frie.. read moreThanks~I am in HK and i don't know much about it...hehe
I didn't mean that but I did have friends got faith, hope, love, and charity; grace, mercy, and undeserved salvation, but somehow, maybe she is dishonest to herself, those aren't true....and her friends(not me) are just kind of social bullying.
I will not argue with this...thanks again~
10 Years Ago
I'm sorry, where/what is "HK?"
10 Years Ago
Hong Kong China
10 Years Ago
Oh. Okay. Well, which phrases were giving you difficulties? I'm happy to de-colloquialize them for y.. read moreOh. Okay. Well, which phrases were giving you difficulties? I'm happy to de-colloquialize them for you.
10 Years Ago
Hopefully,@Let me ruminate ‘pon sensual darkness…
Tremble o’er Hollywood’s fluttering .. read moreHopefully,@Let me ruminate ‘pon sensual darkness…
Tremble o’er Hollywood’s fluttering Gothics…
Ride the edge of my seat with the hero…
Weep with the heroine’s desperation.
Mostly that paragraph...Thanks...
10 Years Ago
Hollywood produces a lot of movies that trend to the Gothic -- vampires, werewolves, ghosts, etc. Th.. read moreHollywood produces a lot of movies that trend to the Gothic -- vampires, werewolves, ghosts, etc. These are dark, sexy takes: "sensual darkness."
That was all part of a basic genre (style of story) called "Gothic." Old film movies used to have this flickering look to them from the light and they made this fluttering sound when the machinery was running, but you'd still tremble in delight or fear or excitement or anger at what passed on the screen: "Tremble [over] Hollywood's fluttering Gothics."
Good stories had you sitting on the edge of your seat in the theater, with every excitement the hero of the piece went through onscreen, including those wild chases in cars, on horses, in stagecoaches, planes, trains, etc.: "Ride the edge of my seat with the hero"
Emotional movies can make us laugh, make us cry, make us feel; have you ever cried with the hero (male main character) or heroine (female main character)? "Weep with the heroine's desperation"
10 Years Ago
Thanks a lot. I finally know the meaning. It is fantastic! Especially the organization part, which I.. read moreThanks a lot. I finally know the meaning. It is fantastic! Especially the organization part, which I never thought these all will combine together. I am no good at poem...but well, I wanna try once soon~~hehe thanks~~
10 Years Ago
Glad to help. Thanks.
Why don't you try combined meter (rhythm) and rhyme? Try 7/9/7/9.. read moreGlad to help. Thanks.
Why don't you try combined meter (rhythm) and rhyme? Try 7/9/7/9 meter: that's seven syllables for line one/nine syllables for line two/seven syllables for line three/and nine syllables for line four. Rhyme a/b/a/b: that's rhyming line one with three; and rhyming line two with four.
10 Years Ago
Ok, I will try it on this weekend(I need to work on weekdays~~)
Please send me an RR for what you produce whenever you finish it. For really good examples here on W.. read morePlease send me an RR for what you produce whenever you finish it. For really good examples here on WritersCafe, check out Ploughboy, MAD ENGLISHMAN, Rick Peutter, Tate Morgan, and David Louis Paget; they are probably the best writers of strict meter and rhyme here. Try reading the Rubaiyat too. And E.A. Poe and Emily Dickenson and Robert Frost.
10 Years Ago
Thanks. I will hopefully finish it this week. I have my idea about it but just the ryhming....thanks.. read moreThanks. I will hopefully finish it this week. I have my idea about it but just the ryhming....thanks for leading me so much.^^
What is RR anyway...
I love the way you describe the many things that spark your creativity. To observe and experience with all one's heart is something that inspires mostly all that were blessed that creative gene. The elegance in description, in which not only inspiration was described, but a story was woven, is truly inspiring in itself. Thank you for sharing. Well penned.
I don't know if you did it on purpose, I'm guessing yes, but I so appreciated the way you started with God and Country and ended with family and faith. And all those wonderful bits in between "Hollywood's fluttering Gothics, really liked that phrase. A wonderful poem.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
Thank you very much.
I really don't know that I began that way on purpose. All that fi.. read moreThank you very much.
I really don't know that I began that way on purpose. All that first part, up to "Yet… more than all these things… " just flowed from my fingertips. The second half flowed from the first as an eye of perspective.
Don't you just love those wonderful -- not gory -- Hollywood takes on the classic Gothic tales?
That is the most inspiring poem about inspiration. Gives a new hope, new reason to look for. It shows how everything and anything can inspire only you need eye and string and words to do the job.
If you read my work and comment, I'll return the favor on your work. I'm not adding new friends nor accepting read requests.
I am a classically trained artist and was an award-winning graphic desig.. more..